Episode Report Card Erin: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Papa, Can You Hear Me?
By Erin | Season 3 | Episode 8 | Aired on 11.22.2003
Meanwhile, somewhere in Hell-Lay, Jack and Vaughn are chilling out by the side of the road, and Jack informs Vaughn that they're waiting for Sloane. Vaughn's all, the WHUH? IN THE WHUH WHUH? Sloane drives up as Jack tells Vaughn that Sloane has agreed to help them make Syd's escape look like the work of the Covenant. Well, that's awfully generous of him. "Do I trust him on this?" asks Jack. "Not necessarily." Hee. Uncle Arvin gets out of his car and makes his way over to them, looking devilishly handsome in his all black outfit. They meet each other halfway, and Sloane informs the boys that Syd's being held at Camp Williams, which has an unacknowledged NSC detention center that's used for the interrogation of terrorists whose captivity the government won't admit to. Well, isn't that convenient. Sloane surmises that they'll need a full-on tactical team, weapons, backup, the lot. He suggests someone named Brill. Jack seems to like this idea. He states that they'll need to get blueprints of Camp Williams, and Little Vaughny Vaughn Vaughn pipes up that the FEMA central office is downtown and they'll have a set. Jack's all, uh, yeah, nice thinking, Tex. We'll prep for infiltration of the FEMA office, then meet back here in three hours. Sloane just smiles at him. "I told you, Jack," he smirks, "we'd work together again." Hee. Jack just walks off with his new errand boy in tow.
Spy Barbie's Prison Penthouse. Syd's being wheeled down a hallway, strapped to a gurney. This SO doesn't look good. She kind of breathes shallowly. A helicopter flies overhead. Head and Killjoy are inside. Head looks over at her and tries to bully her into reporting to the White House in such a fashion so as no one will question the NSC's ethics. He's all, so, um, write a complete and detailed report, spend lots and lots of time on it, preferably far away from wherever the hell we're torturing Sydney, and make sure you tell the Prez and his staff that we treated Syd totally fairly, mmm-kay? Killjoy's all, your head is really, really shiny and you smell like cheese.
Syd's wheeled inside a makeshift operating room of sorts where Erick Avari, a HITG! if ever there was one, awaits her. He's wearing a white coat, so he's either a doctor, a scientist, or a Clinique skin technician. The second Syd's released from her bonds, she kicks and pummels and tries to escape. She's a valiant little fighter, but she's outnumbered. They strap her down again. Back in the 'copter, Killjoy's trying to tell Head that Syd doesn't remember anything. Head's all, oh yeah? Well, when we searched her flat in Rome, we found a coded message taped to the underside of a desk. He thinks that if she can decode the message, it'll help the NSC infiltrate or even take down the Covenant. Killjoy's all, what if she can't decipher the code? Head's all, oh, punkin, don't worry your pretty little blonde head about it! As long as Syd cooperates, that nasty surgery will only exist as a threat and nothing more! Now drink your cocoa. I really don't know what the purpose of this scene is, other than to reinforce that Head's an asshole and Killjoy's incredibly naïve when it comes to her job and the government. Like, this guy's such an enormous slimeball, you can practically see him undulating from space, okay? WAKE UP, LAUREN.
Back in The Operating Room of Impending Brain Death, Syd's being juiced up with a little electroshock therapy. Without a mouth guard or brain sensors, mind you. Like, her teeth should be broken now, you know? Doc Avari tries to get Syd to decipher the code, and asks her if she recognizes her handwriting. Syd, breathing heavily, just sputters, "No -- I -- draw little hearts over my i's -- smiley faces sometimes." Hee. She's saucy when she's defying authority. And shock treatment. Doc Avari tries threatening Syd with neurostim. "Don't bother negotiating with me!" she gasps. "You better make sure I'm a vegetable when you're done with me." Aw. Brave little electrotherapy trooper. Doc Avari looks up at Head, who's standing behind a window, watching. God, he's a penis. "Try a higher setting," he says stoically over the intercom. Doc Avari cranks it up a notch, and Syd's body jumps off the table.