Episode Report Card Deborah: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT A Show Of Hands
By Deborah | Season 2 | Episode 12 | Aired on 01.06.2005
The slo-mo and close-ups start. Luke's dripping so much sweat, it looks like he's been bobbing for apples instead of playing RPS. Frink's impressed that he's so sweaty and yet his glasses aren't fogged up. He shakes the sweat off like a wet dog. (Luke, not Frink.) Joan squeezes one brow at him. Close-up shot of Luke's left eye. Shot of Joan's right eye narrowing. Shot of Luke's eyes. Shot of Joan's mouth. Luke's eye, Joan's eyes, Luke's fist, Joan's fist, and then Joan throws paper…and Luke throws scissors. Oh, man. There's a moment of dead silence. And then as REM's "Everybody Hurts" starts up, Luke screams and rejoices in slo-mo, while Joan looks horrified -- also in slo-mo. Everything stays slo-mo as the geeks gloat and hoot and holler and Joan, Grace, and Adam look crushed. Goth God is looking sympathetic as the crowd begins to disperse. The camerawork goes back to normal as Luke and Friedman jump around, arm in arm. Joan says she had it. Grace assures her she did: "You see how much you made him sweat? I can't even do that when we're alone." Oh, honey, I think you just might not be trying all that hard. Yet. The geeks file past her and Glynis pats her, "Good try, Joan." Stuff it, Blondie. Joan looks at Goth God, who barely smiles and nods approvingly as he walks off. Adam says, "That was awesome, Jane." She points out she lost. Adam: "No, I don't really think so. I mean, that look in your eye…" Joan says, "Eye of the tiger." Adam says, "You know, if this guy Roger can help you like this, you know, help you get what you want, well, I'm sorry if I made that harder." Joan says she just wanted them to be together at college: "I didn't think that was gonna be possible. I'm not gonna think like that anymore." She kisses him, and they walk off together as Joan says she'll get him next time.
Kevin's out in the garage, working on the boat. Is it my imagination, or is this boat less finished every time we see it? Also, people only ever seem to work on it when they're really, really bummed out, which in this family is fairly often, so shouldn't it be farther along? Just wondering. Joan comes out to the garage in her jammies to offer Kevin some caramel corn: "It'll get stuck in your teeth for a year." He takes some and asks what the occasion is. Joan says she's going for college: "People are going to have to pick their own colours." I'd be happy to help. Kevin: "All right!" Joan says the boat looks good. Kevin says it will sail someday. She asks, "You used to sail with Beth, right?" He confirms it. Joan musses his hair affectionately and says, "Mmmm! So that's why you're working on it again." Kevin tells her, "Beth dumped me." Joan wants to know why. Kevin thinks for a moment: "Envy. She couldn't handle dating someone hotter than she was. Uh, you know, all the stares, paparazzi…" Joan's not amused. With a look of great concern, she says, "Kevin…" He says, "Hey, you know, I had to face it sooner or later. I mean…I actually thought that being like this wouldn't make any difference, you know, that…what we felt for each other was all that really mattered." He starts to break down. Joan looks teary. She also looks awesome, with her hair up the way it is and in the jewel-coloured sweater she's wearing. (Dark raspberry red? Purple? Who can tell on this TV?) Joan shrugs: "Yeah, relationships are that easy. Kevin, even if you had twelve legs it wouldn't work like that." He nods: "I just shouldn't have…tried, you know? Not with her." Joan says, "No, you should have…because it was her." He nods and sniffles and cries some more: "I just can't go through this again." Joan: "Kevin, sure you can. Sure you can. You gotta stay in the game." He replies, "I guess. If you can go to college…" "Everybody Hurts" starts up again and Joan stands behind Kevin and puts her arms around his neck to hug him. The camera pulls away through the window and then somebody on the roof busts open a snow globe and dumps it out -- or something along those lines, because that is some of the fakest and most gratuitous snow I've ever seen. It looks like the crappy little bits of paper that are left in the bottom of a shredder. Maybe it's meant to distract us from the unsettling degree of physical affection between Joan and Kevin and the major chemistry between Amber Tamblyn and Jason Ritter. Or maybe the CGI department's on a well-deserved vacation…in a place without snow, real or fake.