Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Eye Wide Shut
By Jacob Clifton | Season 2 | Episode 23 | Aired on 03.05.2012
FITZ OFC
Ezra: "Byron. How nice to get a visit from you. I summoned you here to talk about New Orleans, who have asked for my decision today. I just wanted to tell you what I've decided."
Byron: "Why me? Like I care."
Ezra: "Well, your influence was very generous. That's why I don't want there to be any confusion or hurt feelings when I tell you that you can take the entire state of Louisiana and shove it up your narrow ass."
Byron: "I can't help but wonder about your career. This is a mistake."
Ezra: "I'm not making the mistake you think I'm making. And I know that it's a ridiculously made-up unrealistic offer, which is why I don't want you in the driver's seat. I would never know whether I took the job because it's a great job, or because it's a good idea."
Byron: "You've got some nerve accusing me of trying to manipulate you like I'm doing!"
Ezra: "No, I don't think so. In the battle of the creeps, you will always be King Creep. And frankly, the fact that you think I'm the kind of person who would knuckle under this shit says more about you than it does me."
Byron: "I thought you'd be reasonable, but I guess ego rules the day."
Ezra: "Um, whose ego exactly? Because from where I'm standing you're actually making my case for me. A thing I didn't know was possible until you stuck your big stupid hypocrite Byron Montgomery nose up in my business."
Byron: "I have ... no response to that."
Byron finally leaves, with like sixteen dramatic glances back at Ezra, and of course the first call Fitz makes is to Aria, because he is a stone sucka. But man, that scene made me mad. Byron is everything that is wrong. Just the whole motherfucking boatload of problems in this world, Byron is them. Byron's the reason there were no dads in Sunnydale except Giles, because Buffy could never have existed in a town full of Byrons. Shit like this.
MAYA
Dear Emily. I am using a mystery email account to write and tell you that I've always liked how chill you are, and I think you should use that power to chill out right now. Quote, 'I shouldn't have come back. I should have just left, all tragic and perfect and we'd always have had that instead of this mess.'
Actually, that's a fairly level-headed take. I like Maya a lot more in email form. Maybe she can just send Emily emails from time to time about her adventures, and that way everybody wins. One of the great things about a long-distance relationship is that your stalker has to go to some pretty incredible lengths to hold your girlfriend hostage, when that kind of thing goes down, and the sad truth is that most stalkers just don't have that kind of energy.