Episode Report Card Jessica: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Guerilla Filmmaking (1)
By Jessica | Season 5 | Episode 14 | Aired on 02.05.2002
Joey and Pacey make their way to the ladies' room. "Something happen between you and Audrey?" Joey wonders mildly. "No! No! Of course not," Pacey doth protest too much. "Because if something happened between me and Audrey, it would be a whole horrible, terrible, awful thing, right?" Joey rolls her eyes. "Pacey, you're an idiot," she says. "Okay, if one more person calls me an idiot, I'm really going to start feeling bad about myself," Pacey retorts. Joey sighs, and explains that she'd prefer to see Pacey happy with someone like Audrey, rather than some random girl whose name he can't even remember. Finally, they get to the bathroom door. Joey announces that they're coming in. "What do you mean? I can't go in there," Pacey squeals. Joey grabs him by the ear and yanks him in after her. "Jo! Ow!" Pacey yelps.
In the bathroom, Audrey dabs at her girlish tears. "Audrey, you look great in that dress!" Joey opens. "Really?" Audrey asks. "No. Forget it! I don't deserve to talk to you. I don't deserve to be in the same lavatory as you." Joey smiles and shakes her head. "Why, because you kissed Pacey?" Audrey's mouth falls open. "What? You told her? How could you?" she asks Pacey. Loudly. Joey is still shaking her head and smiling. "He didn't tell me. I intuited," she says. "Really? That's amazing, Joey, you're very intelligent," Audrey chirps. Joey's not upset, she says. "You should be. Our friendship is like the specialest thing that's happened to me since I came here and what do I do? I step on it! Why? Because I'm weak when it comes to men!" Audrey says, shaking a finger at Pacey. Aw, their friendship is special! Mostly because Audrey is the bomb. Pacey grins at Audrey, as Joey explains that she loves them both and wants them to be happy. "You don't need my permission," she beams. "I'm giving you my blessing. For what it's worth." Saint Joey strikes again. Is there nothing she can't do? I can't wait until the episode where she turns water into wine.
Jack, tearstained, is leaving the frat forever, never to darken their door again. Ever. Ever! He's basically out on the porch when he senses 35-Year-Old Eric standing in the foyer behind him. I don't know how Jack knows he's there; it must be some kind of Gay Jedi Mind Trick. Because Jack is gay. In case you weren't aware. He likes boys, even though he never, ever dates them. Apparently, before Jack goes, he must impart his Great Gay Wisdom to 35-Year-Old Eric. "You know the truth, and you're going to have to live with it," Jack begins, talking to Eric very seriously, but not turning around to look him in the face. Because he can't turn around. That would count as darkening the door again. "You've got some serious issues to deal with. You need some serious help." 35-Year-Old Eric makes a giant "whatever" face. "I really hope you find it," Jack says. 35-Year-Old Eric stomps away. And Jack leaves the frat forever. Sweet fancy Moses, living through that plot arc has been like running a marathon. With one leg. And no lungs.