Episode Report Card Aaron: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT It's My Body And I'll Cry If I Want To
By Aaron | Season 3 | Episode 12 | Aired on 05.17.2003
In the car, Brenda and Claire are making awkward small-talk about sushi. Claire prefers "spicy tuna or yellowtail," but doesn't like it when things get "too baroque." "Like The Spider Roll of Ten Thousand Secrets?" asks Brenda. "Exactly," replies Claire, with just the faintest hint of a smile. Aww. She's even cute when she's discussing raw fish.
Cut to the Chorus, which is practicing yet another subtextually relevant tune. Afterwards, Patrick The Little White Sex Dork II comes over to invite David out for a drink. David's response? "Yes, please. Thank you. Oh God, yes." Heh. Looks like the LWSD II's master plan is finally starting to come together. George Peppard would be so proud.
Clinic. Claire and Brenda sit silently in the waiting room until Claire gets called back in a group with three other women. Hmm. All four of them head into a locker room where they change into hospital gowns, and I had absolutely no idea that abortion was a team sport. I can just see the sports pages now: "The Chicago White Coats defeated the DC D&C's last night when Wade Roe, wearing his retro number RU486 jersey, hit a walk-off home run out of the cervix with two outs in the bottom of the third trimester." At least Claire managed to get her own operating room. In any case, the procedure begins with an "ultrasound," which sounds cute and harmless when your co-workers are showing off those little pixilated pictures of the baby they're expecting, but actually turns out to involve shoving a very large plastic tube into what I'm assuming is a very uncomfortable place. I've never been so happy to have a penis in my entire life. Well, okay, that's not really true, but I'd still take "turn your head and cough" over that scary-looking thing any day of the week. "I see you chose Twilight," whispers the nurse, apropos of nothing except the StTM points (1722). She further explains that "Twilight" is a sedative, but then decides instead to knock Claire out by beating her over the head with an anvil when she adds, "You're not really gone, but you're not really here." You know, just like Lisa. Whatever Twilight actually is, it obviously takes effect pretty quickly, because Claire soon sees Ruth hovering over her bed, promising to take good care of her. She's a bit weirded out by this vision, although I think we can all agree that she should just be happy Ruth wasn't curled up next to her, cooing like pigeon. She also imagines Russell standing over her, silently watching with a particularly stalkerish expression. I'm almost moved to make a comment about the unfairness of Claire not even giving him a chance to exercise his rights as the father here, but then I had to get up and fetch some Windex to wipe the goop off my TV screen, and the moment passed pretty quickly. Fade to white.