Episode Report Card Aaron: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT It's My Body And I'll Cry If I Want To
By Aaron | Season 3 | Episode 12 | Aired on 05.17.2003
Cromwell's Crib. George and Ruth discuss all his previous marriages. The first one ended because they got married too soon. The second one ended because he screwed around. The third one was with the girl he screwed around on Number Two with, and she cheated on him in return. Number Four died, Number Five lasted only nine months, and Number Six also ended up at the big marriage counselor in the sky. "If you marry six people," he muses, "a few of them are going to die. It's the odds. And it also didn't hurt that I poisoned them and stole all their money. If, of course, that is my tragic flaw." Even after hearing all this, Ruth still wants to get married. She does, however, admit that she's a bit wary, because he's had "all these women." And in spite of all the comments about how man-hungry Ruth has been since The Late Nate's death, it is worth noting that George has married almost twice as many people as Ruth has ever even slept with. This is George's cue to tell a long, sweet story about a house he once lived in with a stream underneath it, and while all you foolish romantics were busy wiping the tears out of your eyes, I was stuck trying to figure out how the hell an associate geology professor managed to afford the mortgage on Frank Lloyd Wright's Fallingwater. Somehow the story relates back to the love he feels for Ruth, but I have to admit that the connection is more than a little lost on me. She does love hearing it, however, and even pays him the ultimate compliment of saying that he reminds her of Nathaniel a bit. Oh, yeah. There has to be something very, very wrong with this guy.
The Diaz Dump. Angelica blithely bitches about some boyfriend while Vanessa sleeps and Rico rolls his eyes. "I'm glad we could be here for you," sighs Rico, when she stops whining for a few seconds. "Me, too," answers the oblivious Angelica. "But you got to treat my sister better, Rico, or she's going to leave you like I left that motherfucker Anthony. She will. You guys are out of popcorn." Oy. Come on, folks. You know the words: Shut up, Angelica.
In his own little dump, Nate prepares for bed by downing a handful of pills with a bottle of beer. Oh, yeah. That's healthy. Maya is nowhere to be seen, but the bowl-shaped depression his hair left in the pillow when they filmed the previous take of this shot is still plainly visible. I just thought you'd want to know.
Angry-La. David is sitting on the couch, just waiting for Keith to come home. Which he soon does, as he slides into a chair and flips on the TV without saying a word. David grabs the remote and shuts the TV right off again, before delivering the always ominous line, "We have to talk." Uh oh. "I don't want us to be together," David says, before confirming that this is an official break-up and that he'll have his stuff out of the apartment in a few days. "I'll be out of your way, and you kind find somebody more…whatever it is you like. Mean." Shout-out? Keith wants to try discussing this in therapy before they do anything rash, but David has worked up too much of a self-righteous head of steam to stop now. "It's never been right between us," he screams. "It never will be. And that's fine. We can stop wasting each other's time." Then he plays the "abuse" card by asking if Keith is going to hit him. Keith is totally blindsided by that one, and responds with an almost plaintive "No!" "I am so sick of being scared of you, Keith," David says. "I hate it. I absolutely fucking hate it." And with that, he slams the door behind himself, leaving Keith alone until their inevitable reconciliation in the third episode of next season.