Episode Report Card Aaron: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Dead as Folk? No. Dead as Fuck? Yes.
By Aaron | Season 2 | Episode 9 | Aired on 04.27.2002
Alan Ball: Really? The dream sequence wasn't too over the top?
Aaron: Not at all. And besides, I've got to admit, Keith is really starting to turn me on with all this moody and mean stuff he's been pulling lately.
Alan Ball: That's just…ew.
Aaron: What?
Alan Ball: Dude, you can't even land Lauren, so I think it's safe to say that Mathew is more than a little out of your league.
Aaron: Oh.
Alan Ball: I'd put in a good word for you with that guy over on The Shield, but USA is pretty much the only network we DON'T own, so I'm not sure if I can.
Aaron: That's okay. [sniffle]
Alan Ball: Aww. Do you need a hug?
Aaron: At the bare minimum, yes.
Fade back up in Das Sargzimmer, where Trophy Wife Dina and the DGDJ's daughters are bickering about the funeral arrangements. Highlights from the argument include David saying there's no need for involving lawyers, Dina calling a daughter "ferret-face," a daughter calling Dina a "gold-digging slut," and yet another "fuck." Fk=19. The best line, however, comes when Daughter #2 says to Dina that "there are naked pictures of you on the internet. My son showed them to me." Heh. Oh, and don't worry if you're reading this at work. The link is PG-13. Nate, who's been slumped on the sofa mourning the unfortunate Flock Of Seagulls look his hair has sculpted itself into this week, just can't take it anymore. "Shut up!" he yells suddenly. "All of you, shut the fuck up!" Fk=20. He continues, "A man died. Your husband. Your father. He was alive, and now he's dead. Show some respect. [To Dina] And if you really loved him, and I believe you did, you'll give him what he wanted. If you don't, then you never really loved him. It's as simple as that." Daughter #1 thanks Nate snidely for intervening on their side, but he's not done yet. "And if I so much as get a phone call from anybody's lawyer," he says threateningly, "we'll give the body back and the three of you can tear him to pieces like fucking jackals if you want to. It's. Not. Your. Decision." Heh again. And also, Fk=21. Nate storms out of the room, and if you're interested in finding naked pictures of him on the internet, this might be a good place to start. That one's PG-13 too, but still significantly scarier than the first link.
