Episode Report Card Sara M: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Elephantitis
By Sara M | Season 17 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.16.2008
So! Wielding the clubs for Fang are Crystal and Ace and for Kota, it's Bob and Charlie. Fang is the first to score, so ha ha ha, Probst. Meanwhile, Ace proves to be very good at clubbing fruit. Must be a holdover from his cricket days. Fang gets a good lead until Marcus the Magnificent comes up with a plan to get the fruit past Ace: throw two pieces of fruit at the same time and figure he can't hit them both. This works, and Kota gets its first piece of fruit: a banana. And there's Kelly with a score! Oh, snap, Jacquie fans! But, of course, Probst has to point out that Fang is only getting the "smaller" pieces of fruit by. Meanwhile, I don't think I've seen Susie catch one piece of fruit. It's all Randy, an unexpected physical threat. As the time winds down, both teams start chucking pineapples and watermelons. Probst is obsessed with the fact that Corinne throws left-handed. Crystal gets a few good hits in. Ace jumps up to hit a watermelon and a pineapple. He prevents both of them from making it through the hole but is hit in the face. He falls down and clutches his nose. Baby. He gets back up, and the game ends as Fang gets one last pineapple in their basket.
Time's up. Probst tells both teams they made a "good effort" and it looks close. I think he was looking only at Kota when he said that, though. "We're gonna weigh to see who has the most weight," Probst says. Yes, that's generally what you accomplish when you weigh things. It goes without saying, but you said it anyway, Probst. Fang's fruit basket weighs in at 16 pounds. As Probst picks up Kota's basket, Marcus bends over and eats a piece of fruit off of Charlie's shoulder. Now it doesn't matter if Kota wins or not. In Charlie's mind, he's already a winner! Somehow, Kota gets 18 pounds. Aw, suck. They edited it to look like Fang did so much better! Kota celebrates, with Marcus embracing Charlie for a change. Wow, this is Charlie's best day on Earth. I hope he didn't notice that Marcus hugged Dan first. Fang makes sad faces. Probst asks them who they want to send to Exile. Dan smiles and says it'll be Sugar again. Damn, poor Sugar. She doesn't even get to play this game, really. Probst asks Dan why they want to send Sugar again. He says it's "purely comedy" while the rest of Kota look embarrassed or horrified. Bob especially mutters a "wow." Although he might have been looking at his new herb garden. Bob loves herb gardens. Dan amends that to say they want her to find the idol and play it before the merge so it'll get back into circulation. "Whatever," Sugar says. I guess they're figuring they'd rather know who could have it by keeping the list of suspects as small as possible. It would have been awesome if Sugar had turned around and said "okay, but I found the final spot when I was there last time and the idol was already gone. So I guess YOU have it!" And then life would have sucked for Dan, who thought it was so freaking funny to make fun of Sugar's Exile stays. But she doesn't say anything, just takes the map and leaves. Fang leaves soon afterward, and there's slow motion action shots of Kota members carrying their lame prize.