Episode Report Card Sara M: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Elephantitis
By Sara M | Season 17 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.16.2008
Corinne and Crystal will throw next, and I am ready to see Crystal hurl that ball through the goal without it ever touching the ground. Come on, Olympic champion!! Ace misses Kota's ball again, but Dan stops Fang's ball. Ace is nearby and gets a light tap in the nose from Dan's shield, causing him to fling himself onto the ground and roll around in great agony. Dude, whatever. I had my nose broken once, and I didn't do any of this melodramatic stuff. Ace's nose isn't even bleeding. Hilariously, no one really even cares about Ace until he's been on the ground for so long that Probst has to ask if he's okay. "Shield in the face!" he cries. No one cares, not even his own tribe. Randy and Sugar help Ace to his feet while Ken rolls his eyes. Ken should have been the caller for this. I don't know why they used Sugar. And it's the final round. Fang is ahead with seven to Kota's six. Bob and Ken are throwing. Dan stops Fang's ball and Ace is heading towards Kota's when quick-thinking Randy tells him to freeze. And he does. He apparently thinks that Sugar and Randy sound the same. Meanwhile, Sugar just stands there and shrugs and doesn't tell Ace to ignore Randy or anything. That is a colossal failure on both of their parts. Kota scores two points and wins.
Probst hands Kota the immunity idol, being sure to remind Fang that they suck so much that they've now been to four of the last five Tribal Councils. Whatever. They're still better than Ulong. Also, Sugar hasn't even been to one Tribal Council as a member of Fang, and Ace and Kelly have only been to one. And Ace and Sugar are the reason why Fang lost this in the first place, while it was ex-Fang members Dan and Randy's superior communication skills that allowed Kota to win.
Fang returns to camp in low spirits. GC says they're an "unlucky bunch" while Matty mutters that their camp is cursed. Yes, it is! With bad attitude. GC tells Matty that he doesn't even have the energy to smile anymore. "I've noticed," Matty says. Maybe you would have more energy if you didn't waste it paddling off to nowhere just to agitate your tribe right before a challenge. GC says he feels like he's doing and saying things that aren't like him, except that he's been a weak quitting overly defensive asshole since the start. Matty ignores GC in favor of grinding two rocks together, but then GC says he's ready to leave the game. "I need to get back on my grind," GC explains. That's always such a stupid excuse because it's not like after you get voted out, you're put on a plane home the next day. You're still away from home and your grind for the same amount of time that you would be if you hadn't quit. Matty doesn't protest or beg GC to stay, but says he thinks GC will regret his decision.