Episode Report Card Chuck: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Ghetto Fabulous
By Chuck | Season 5 | Episode 7 | Aired on 02.16.2002
The Coalition To Do What's Right Without Concern For The Opinions Of The Actual Individuals Involved convenes its first meeting, with Salty declaring that Cyril's case must be won in the food court of public opinion as Pete, Betty Buckley, and The Lone Lawyer listen, rapt. Earnestness. Repellent. Katherine pipes up that the Supreme Court said that killing the retarded is fine, since they're different than we are. Salty climbs higher on his pedestal and enthuses, from behind eyebrow shrubbery, that they must prove that even the most death-mongering Americans want to spare the dim. Uh, yeah, good luck. Betty gets excited about the thought of arousing the media, and then Salty mobilizes Pete with orders to put out a press release about the nuances of Cyril's noggin and Katherine gets all self-righteous about her shoddy work. Betty wonders if they can really do it; Salty says something trite and pat about the Lord and the Law, and Pete falls completely under the spell of Salty's can-do bravado.
After mocking Shupe, Ryan is approached by Guerra, who wants to know why Kenmin still vogues in the corner, since they had a deal. Ryan assures them that his criminal mastermind is clicking away, and that he'll get someone that the COs can't blame to do the job. The COs themselves. Dun dun dun!
Gym. Ryan. Kenmin. Interpretive movement. The Lord Of The Dance torments Ryan with details of his testimony against Cyril. Ryan crouches, waiting for his moment, which arrives when a CO walks into the room. Ryan lunges, feebly, and Kenmin grabs him in a headlock as Salty watches from the basketball court. In a complete departure from the norm, the CO races over to break up the fight, smacking Kenmin in the back. Kenmin turns and goes martial on the CO, kicking the club out of his hands and punching him in the face. He kicks another CO in the chest as Ryan picks up the club and proceeds to beat the shit out of Kenmin. A seamless operation. Like Ryan could have planned exactly how those events would unfold. Lucky for him, Kenmin is stunningly stupid. But Salty knows the truth.
Gloria tends to Ryan and reveals that she has no idea about Kenmin's condition, as the hacks threw him directly into solitary. Ryan thinks that the world would be better if Kenmin went into another coma. Gloria doesn't disagree. While escorting Ryan back to Em City, the guard thanks him for what he did, confirming that Ryan's gotten away with it. He's duped them all! Ryan further stokes the fire by defaming Kenmin to the CO, who confides that Kenmin's got a lesson to learn. The guard heads straight for Kenmin's solitary cell to drop some science, which he and a few pals do via taunts, mace, and a thorough beating.