Episode Report Card Chuck: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Ghetto Fabulous
By Chuck | Season 5 | Episode 7 | Aired on 02.16.2002
In the cafeteria, Beecher looks longingly at Adam as Schillinger fusses with his new conquest's moussed-up hair. Said sees Beecher's concerned face and is drawn to emotional pain like a moth to the flame. He ascertains the sincerity of Beecher's guilt over handing Adam over to the Aryans -- heartless rape and homophobic attack notwithstanding, Beecher claims that his decision was driven by carnal desire. Said agrees, and criticizes Beecher for succumbing to his own appetites. Oh, whatever. Adam richly deserved what he got -- not to mention that the mascara really brings out his eyes, so cut the self-pity crap, ladies. But Beecher goes on about his feelings of responsibility, regret underscored by an excessively quick-cut flashback to Beecher's discovery of a post-rape Adam in the gym, naked, cowering, and looking like the star of a Calvin Klein perfume ad. Said, predictably latching on to self-denial as the path toward redemption, explains to Beecher that he must repent by never allowing himself to see Keller. Ever. Well, gosh, says Beecher, okay. You're so somber that you must be right.
So Beecher heads to McManus and asks to be transferred to another work detail. McManus explodes, annoyed with Beecher for asking for a change so soon after begging for mail duty. Mail just doesn't allow me to maximize my innate gift for maudlin self-pity, explains Beecher, but McManus isn't buying, especially after Beecher eagerly jumps at the only available slot -- in the dress factory. Uh, where they do what? Manufacture Gunne Sax? Kathie Lee Gifford's line, now that child labor's no longer trendy? Whatever. McManus tells Beecher, loudly, that he's stuck with mail until he can come up with a good reason to switch jobs. So, Beecher toddles off to deliver some more mail and immediately violates his self-imposed Keller boycott by gazing at Keller through a window in the infirmary as he induces a nurse to nod methodically.
Next it's off to Sister Pete's, where Beecher meets his replacement, the grizzly old sheriff from Unit B. Alvin Something. In a crushing blow to Beecher's manhood, Alvin Something calls him "a dolt" for relinquishing the Pete gig. Beecher wants to leave a note and to request that she call a meeting with Adam. "For what?" wonders Alvin. "She'll know when she sees him," says Beecher. Since the stench and stain of Adam's rape will be visible to all who encounter him. Alvin "Chicken Soup For The Soul" Something tells Beecher not to take any wooden nickels. Oh, fuck you, Grandpa.