Episode Report Card Strega: B+ | 9 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT The Princess Bride
By Strega | Season 2 | Episode 12 | Aired on 2000.07.28
We cut to a shot of the triangular defense satellites swooshing around the ship, which I only mention because it's an excuse to finally start a new paragraph. Crichton does a Bill Paxton impression, whining, "We are so screwed, man!" Sure enough, things start going boom as the defense system starts firing on the ship. The music gets a little bit too dramatic, which undercuts the goofy chaos of what's going on as Crichton dances insanely while Braca and Ro-Na panic. Ro-Na shrieks and rushes at Crichton, and he tosses her to the floor and does some WWE gestures of triumph. Then the same thing happens again, except this time he tosses her against a wall of cabling, and she goes sizzle-pop-aieee! Braca tries to move past Crichton, and is tackled. Braca gasps, "You're insane!" Crichton retorts, "You just figured that out? I thought that was common knowledge!" Braca says they'll both die if they don't get off the ship. Crichton asks, "You didn't think I was going alone, did ya?" and slams Braca against a portal -- the regular window kind, not the swirly interdimensional kind. But alas, Crichton missed the part where Braca made his gun transmogrify into a helmet. To be honest, so did I. Nonetheless, Braca swats Crichton with the helmet he's suddenly holding, knocking him out of the way. Then he jumps through the hatch and closes it, taking the time to shout, "The ship's yours -- but I've got the helmet!" Crichton watches as a spacesuited Braca goes floating away. Luckily, Crichton's always calm in a crisis, so he just chants, "Frell!" a few dozen times and marches through the disintegrating ship. He tries to use the comms to announce who he is, but is chased back by exploding tech. He stands in the middle of the ship, and then hears Scorpius say, "Focus, John. Panic is unacceptable. You will survive." Crichton doesn't care for this development, but Scorpius insists, "You've come too far to die." After a moment, Crichton picks up one of the silly white guns and marches toward the airlock. The defense satellites are still firing as he stands in the airlock, breathes deeply, and says, "Never get off the boat, man!" And then he opens the airlock.