Episode Report Card Strega: B+ | 9 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT The Princess Bride
By Strega | Season 2 | Episode 12 | Aired on 2000.07.28
Cut to Scorpius crossing Ro-Na's palm with silver. Or something similarly shiny. The ear-flap on Scorpius's gimp-hood has popped open and a metal frame has been extruded out of Scorpy's skull. A flunky is placing a blue lightstick into the frame as Scorpy asks Ro-Na if anything's wrong. Also, in the background there are koalas flying through the air on jetpacks. Okay, there aren't, if there were you wouldn't notice because did I mention the lightstick and the frame popping OUT OF HIS SKULL? That's a great party trick. Ro-Na gasps that it's a lot of money. As the flunky finishes, the frame begins spinning and gradually screws itself back into his head. Scorpius, zen as ever, says that this is one quarter of the payment Ro-Na will eventually receive. Once his skull is resealed, Scorpius signs happily, and then holds up a little plastic thingamajig. Ro-Na identifies it as a "trans-sequence ident waver," and says she knows how to use it. Scorpius says, "Good!" and suddenly pulls a very unhappy Ro-Na into his lap. He tells her, "I predict that very shortly you'll be the wealthiest Jakent in this part of the galaxy." Ro-Na grabs the thingamajig, squeaks, "Thank you!" and runs away. We finally see Scorpius's flunky, who turns out to be a blonde dominatrix. Of course. Scorpius tells her, "Inform Lieutenant Braca that at the conclusion of his mission there are to be no witnesses left behind." The dominatrix nods, and exits with her lightstick case. Scorpius monologues, "Oh to be there when the scales fall from John Crichton's eyes."
The transport pod. Crichton has finally changed out of his hot pink outfit (that is, the color is hot pink. The outfit is not hot.) and back into his Peacekeeper duds. Praise the lord. He, Ro-Na, and a couple of guards are on their way to the ship o' presents. It's a Jakent junket! As they prepare to take off, Ro-Na hands Crichton the thingamajig, and claims, "Dominar Rygel said you must insert this before ascending." Crichton says that he's already changed the ident codes for the ship, and then complains about the fact that his friends won't know where he is. One of the guards bleats about security, and Ro-Na wheedles, "Councilor Tyno will be looking for this new code on his tracking screen." Crichton gives in, and pops the thingamajig into the console. Ro-Na moves back and sits down while Crichton does some kind of flight attendant shtick, pointing to the exits and so on. Then he sidles up to Ro-Na and grumps, "I'm driving." She lets him take the captain's chair.