Episode Report Card Sars: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Future Tense
By Sars | Season 4 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.24.2000
Over at the PB&B, Joey walks outside to sit by Bessie "Sole Proprietrix" Potter on the lawn and asks if Bessie can decipher an anxiety dream Joey had. Bessie, who has an unfortunate 1961-vintage Shirley Jones flip going on, tells her it means she should stop "stressing" about college -- she'll get in "someplace great," she'll get a whole whack of financial aid, "and everything'll be perfect." Joey thought so too until her meeting with Miss Watson the day before, when she found out that she's fourth in the class. Bessie lights up and tells her, "Joey, that's amazing!" but Joey says that the places she thought she wanted to apply to all want fourth in the class and a concert violinist, or fourth in the class and winner of the Westinghouse Science prize, or fourth in the class and "legacies like Andie." Ouch. Maybe she shouldn't even bother; maybe she's "just wasting the application fees." "Your defeatist attitude has got to go," Bessie tells her (roger that, sister), and asks what Pacey says, like, WHO CARES what Pacey says? She's SEVENTEEN. She's not going to MARRY the guy, and she shouldn't consult him for college advice ANYWAY, and if I'd offered a boyfriend's opinion as to my college choices, my parents would have sent me to Connecticut for deprogramming. Anyway, Joey can't talk to Pacey about it; he's barely going to graduate himself, and if she shares her worries about this with him, he'll think she's whiny and pathetic. Bessie joins me in rolling her eyes before reminding Joey that going to one of the top schools could give her opportunities she's always dreamed about, "right?" Joey sulkily allows that that's true. "So your dreams are your dreams, Joey," Bessie tells her. "You can't apologize for them." Word. Joey makes melted-wax face; Bessie urges her to talk to Pacey: "You'll probably find out they're his dreams too." Aw, Bessie -- you had me until then. Joey looks sad. Bessie tries out for the International Coffee ad campaign.
If I have to sit through this The Legend Of Crapper Vance trailer one more time, I don't know what.
Locker-cam. Jen comes up behind Drue and bitches him out for throwing her a non-birthday party. "Birthday non-party"? Oh, who cares. Jen crabs about how she's spent the school day "fielding" birthday wishes from strangers, and how her French class sang to her "in French." Ah, yes. "Bonne anniversaire à toi" and runny Brie. I remember that crap. Anyway, Drue gladhands his way down the hall and talks up the party to Jen, saying that it's a great way for him "to meet people," and it'll make up for all the partying time they lost since she left New York, not to mention get her out of the funk she's been in "since Phantom Freshman dumped" her. Ouch. Jen snaps that first of all, Henry didn't dump her -- she dumped Henry. "Technicality," Drue shrugs. Snerk. She goes on that "this isn't a funk, it's my personality." Hee! Drue makes a face and drawls, "Harsh." On and on this goes. Drue says that "people are sheep," something he says that "the old Jen Lindley used to know," and they need a reason to celebrate, which he provides -- but not, alas, by leaving the show with all due haste. Jen: I ain't goin.' Drue: You can't miss your own birthday. Jen: It's not my birthday. Drue: But everyone thinks it's your birthday. Jen: I can and will kill you. Drue: See you at eight, sucker. Sars: [Zzzzzz.]