Episode Report Card Kim: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Legs
By Kim | Season 3 | Episode 3 | Aired on 07.27.1999
Shirley is knitting in her cell, and asks Richie to hold up his arm so that she can figure out how long to make the arms of her sweater. Richie does so, while never lifting his eyes from the book he is reading. Vern arrives with the mail. He flirts with Shirley while delivering a teapot. That seems like it should be a euphemism, but it isn't. Shirley says her new lawyer is filing an appeal, so she figures she's going to be around a while longer, and Vern is glad to hear it. The guard finally breaks up the love fest. Vern turns to Richie, telling him that he gets no mail today. Vern speculates, "All [Richie's] little fag friends are too busy getting their legs waxed [to send him mail]." Richie spits an insult at Vern, and manages to mispronounce Schillinger, which never fails to crack me up, because it gets Vern so riled up. Vern leaves.
Shirley asks what's up with all the animosity between Vern and Richie. Like someone needs a reason to hate Vern besides the fact that he's evil. Richie tells her that Vern and a friend killed a Russian guy, hung him by the ankles in the gym, and carved "Jew" in his chest. Luckily, we get to see a flashback of that. Lovely. Vern told Richie that if he didn't confess to the murder, they would kill him. Shirley figures that it's a death sentence either way, and wonders why Richie doesn't tell the truth now. Richie says that Vern's friend is dead, so it's Richie's word against Vern's, and he has no proof. Shirley suggests that Richie lie and say that he and Vern committed the murder together. Richie finally takes his eyes off his book for the first time and asks how that saves him. Shirley says that it doesn't, but it would get Vern on death row. Richie thinks it over as Shirley tells him that it's "just something to consider."
McManus goes to visit Snake Coyle, a.k.a. Treach. McManus asks why Coyle told Hill about killing that family. Coyle replies that McManus might as well ask why he had his friend videotape the crime, or why he did the crime at all. McManus presses him, and Coyle admits that he wanted Hill's respect, but now he just wants him dead. McManus walks away, and Coyle yells out, "It's a thin line between love and hate." That Treach -- he's naughty by nature. He's also a terrible actor.
The prisoners watch a news report about Coyle. Ryan is all pissed that they have to show the video of Coyle's crime. One of the bikers tells him not to be "a vag." I'm going to have to incorporate that one into my vocabulary. Busmalis and Cyril want to watch Miss Sally because she has "big bazooms." Someone mentions that Hill is in protective custody. Kenny walks up and tells them that Hill (who has just appeared on screen, coming out of the courthouse after giving his testimony) is a rat, and he'll be punished.