Episode Report Card Kim: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Legs
By Kim | Season 3 | Episode 3 | Aired on 07.27.1999
Gloria is called into the Governor Runty's office. Governor Runty says that he has a problem, because he got a call from a reporter about Alvarez, and he also got a call from the CEO of the health care company, who is "an old friend, a generous friend." Governor Runty asks Gloria if she's gone on camera yet. Gloria says she hasn't. Governor Runty offers to reinstate her, put Alvarez back on the medication, and get the health care company to "loosen the purse strings." Gloria asks about Evil Boss and his eyebrows. Governor Runty tells her that Evil Boss and his eyebrows did back-alley abortions in the seventies and killed a woman, and yet somehow got his license renewed. Governor Runty thinks that the reporter will run with that story in exchange for burying the one about Alvarez. Governor Runty asks if they have a deal, calling Gloria "a reasonable person." Gloria sighs and says that she wants to stay, but she needs to know that things will really be different. Governor Runty smirks and says she has "[his] solemn word." They shake on it. Man, I wouldn't trust that guy as far as I could throw him. And he's pretty small, so I could probably throw him pretty far. The prisoners watch Evil Boss and his eyebrows being surrounded by reporters as he exits the building. It would be cool if he just took flight. Goodbye, Evil Boss and his eyebrows! Sister Pete wakes up Alvarez in the infirmary. He asks if he's in heaven. Gloria tells him, "Not quite." Alvarez realizes that he's still in prison and says, "You should have let me die. You should have let me die."
Ooh, it's one of those flashback "How I Got to Prison" segments. I should probably come up with a clever name for these, like Strega and her blipverts. Post any suggestions in the forums. Two guys get into the back of a limo: Beefy and Russky. Russky pulls out some loose diamonds. Beefy takes them and hands Russky some money. While Russky is counting the money, Beefy flashes a badge. The limo driver turns around, also holding a badge, and pointing a gun at Russky. Hill tells us that this is Prisoner #99S233, Nikolai Stanislofsky. I think I liked Russky better. His crime was possession of stolen goods with intent to sell, and his sentence is fifteen years, up for parole in five.
Russky walks into Em City, wearing a sweet nylon tracksuit. Busmalis is questioning him about being from Russia. Russky says he did seven years in a Soviet gulag, so Oz will be a piece of cake. He stops and asks about Miss Sally on the television. The prisoners are making typical Miss Sally remarks. Busmalis stares at the television wistfully. Russky walks into his cell and starts arranging his belongings. He ask Busmalis if they are near death row, because he knew a man named Alexander Vogel and would like to shake the hand of the man who killed him. Busmalis helpfully informs Russky that Richie Hanlon would be the killer.