Episode Report Card Demian: A- | 121 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Is That All There Is To Utopia? Is That All There Is?
By Demian | Season 7 | Episode 13 | Aired on 2005.01.30
Manor. Phoebe returns from the office to discover that her pack mule of a sister's concocted an elaborate spread for their little party, and God, these women bore me. I think they've actually bored me since the early part of the fourth season, but the far more intriguing presences of first the Colethazor and then Big Gay Chris masked my nagging sense of tedium. Anyway, of the endless babbling that follows, only the following bits are of any interest or importance: Piper frets a bit about Dolta's whereabouts, and when Phoebe suggests he had some "Avatar stuff" to take care of, Piper sighs, "I hope the Avatars don't keep him as busy as the [ever-useless] Elders did." "I don't think he'd put up with that, Piper," Phoebe smiles, "and you know it. He created this better world so that you guys could be together again. As a family." Piper, mollified by this notion, nonetheless retorts, "Still. I worry." "And next to cooking, that's the other thing you do best," Phoebe teases. Raige enters at this point from upstairs, and there's more of that "he's gone to a better place" stuff from her -- AUAAUAAAAAUAAUAGH! -- regarding Brody, prompting Phoebe to relate the sad, sordid tale of Oliver The Troubled Copy Boy. Piper assures her sister that it all must be for the best, "otherwise it wouldn't have happened." Phoebe's clearly not quite buying it, but goes along with Piper's sentiment for the moment. Piper then cheerily sends Phoebe upstairs to dress the kids for the party while she and Raige head into the kitchen for some last-minute prep work. The screen flares white, and we're...
...back in the Egyptian tomb, where Zankou paces his hot self back and forth on the cracked floor in the glow of the torchlight. Irritating Max Perlich squiggles into the chamber, despite the fact that he previously exploded from place to place like the Celerity Demons, and that's just another reason to hate and ignore him. He's also dropped his New York accent in favor of something more Central European, and that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, and why won't somebody off this stupid fucker already? GOD! And look at that. While I was so busily ranting, Irritating Max has squiggled out just as the shrieking racket of the Dolt's orb cloud reaches our ears. I sure as hell hope Irritating Max Perlich didn't have anything important to say. "Welcome back, partner!" Zankou grins, turning to greet the new arrival. Hee. "We're not partners," Dolta ices. "Then what are you doing here?" Zankou shrugs affably. He's got a major jones for you, Zankou. Everybody does. You little devil. Okay, so I'm kidding with that. Sort of. Dolta actually admits that he's not terribly certain of the answer to Zankou's question, allowing the demon to argue once more against the Avatars' brave new world in a manner so twinkly and seductive that it's far more entertaining than it has any right to be, given that it's basically a rehash of everything he's said before. "Ah, but there's the rub," he finally smirks when Dolta insists that he's none too fond of the idea assisting the forces of Hell. "Which world is worse -- which is the greater evil? Mine, or theirs?" "Well, I know taking Destiny out of people's hands is not right no matter what," Dolta concedes. However, he takes pains to stress, "If we succeed, we'll still be enemies, and I can make you a promise it will only be a matter of time before good defeats evil." Aw. The wimpy little pantywaist is getting all up in Zankou's face! Isn't he precious? "We'll have to see about that, won't we?" Zankou grins slyly. "Now," he continues with his voice filled with bemused condescension, "if we're finished with the macho posturing, let's get to work." With that, he brushes dismissively past Dolta to approach the hieroglyph wall. Hee. Zankou fucking rules. Zankou cautions Dolta that even if he deciphers the ancient text, they'll still need the Glamorous Ladies help to recreate the Egyptians' deadly vials of tendrilly Avatar doom. Dolta claims the Ps will never act against the Avatars. "Not if they discover the catch," Zankou retorts. "Not if they learn the Avatars alone decide who lives and who dies." To that end, Dolta must "get them to see what the Avatars don't want them to see." "Even," Zankou emphasizes, "if it takes you shocking them with another terrible loss." The boys squint at each other for a long moment before the screen flares white again and we head...