Episode Report Card Couch Baron: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT He Said, She Said
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 12 | Aired on 07.15.1999
Shiphole. Staanz tells D'Argo he can dissolve a small part of the Flax if they haven't changed the code, which makes a lot of sense, and then instructs him to whack the engine very hard on his signal. We then get far too much of Staanz, um, massaging another mechanical gizmo, and then they're suddenly clear of the Flax. This apparently is the signal for a lot of belly-baring and an attempted embrace with D'Argo that goes over about as well as The Book Of Daniel did with the Christian right. (Somehow, I'm surprised Farscape escaped their wrath. Interspecies romances don't seem like they'd be too, um, kosher.)
Off Staanz's assertion that "it doesn't get better than this," we cut to Aeryn massaging Crichton's chest. Heh. She counts off in an "I get this silly technique already" voice, but I think it just shows her military discipline that she's able to refrain from going through it one more time just for hot measure. Crichton is erring on the side of caution in giving Aeryn four minutes (180 microts, for those of you keeping a conversion index) and is also getting nervous and vulnerable as Aeryn prepares the kill shot, so he talks about the human belief in the afterlife, and asks if Aeryn shares it. Aeryn: "Sebaceans believe when you die you die, you go nowhere, you see nothing." So that's a "no," then. Crichton tries to steel himself and fails, but Aeryn sincerely tells him, "I won't let you down, John." Man, the slightest bit of kindness on her part is enough to make my throat go a little tight. I'm glad we're not dating. Crichton is still resistant, saying it's going to hurt like crap, but Aeryn reassures him that that's not the case, and she injects him and suits herself up. They actually hold the suspense for about ten seconds until Crichton can't stand it any longer and starts to say that it wasn't so bad, which is of course the cue for the poison or whatever to kick in and cause him to flop around like an electrocuted walrus. Hee. Aeryn wastes no time in depressurizing the cabin.
On Moya, the henchZenetan returns to tell Kcrackic that their ship is ready to go. If I were him, seeing my boss spending hours playing a strategy game with a puppet would have been all I needed to mutinously go for a one-way joyride, but I never claimed to be normal. Anyway, it's Rygel's turn to bet, and he tries to get away with using Moya as his wager, which, amazingly, doesn't cause some eminently pungent secretion to come raining down on him. Zhaan, however, is upset, but Kcrackic reiterates that he's not touching a pregnant Leviathan with a ten-(convert "foot" to something appropriately silly) pole. Rygel instead wagers Staanz's whereabouts, causing Kcrackic to smile evilly.