Episode Report Card Couch Baron: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT He Said, She Said
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 12 | Aired on 07.15.1999
On Moya, Zhaan informs D'Argo that she received a message from Aeryn. "It's short, but it's clear." All too rare on both counts. D'Argo informs her that they're about to launch as Rygel bitches about... all the money Staanz left behind? Okay. Zhaan gives him a look that could cut every precious stone he's got in front of him, and he nervously subsides.
Staanz's ship launches as its pilot whoops, "Luxan voyager, here we come!" One hopes he remembered to turn the intercom off, as no one's really got time for the awkward around here. Inside, we see that Staanz's ship is, not to put too fine a point on it, a shithole, and the only thing that stinks worse than all the junk cluttering it up are Staanz's delusions that one day selling all of it will put him on Easy Street. This scene is boring, so the point is this: D'Argo wants to spend no more than an arn at the Luxan ship before going to rescue Aeryn and Crichton, which Staanz is fine with, since the Zenetans won't be in a rush to loot such a small pod. I don't see what could go wrong with that plan, which probably makes me unsuitable for Peacekeeper flight training.
On the pod, we see that the attempt to escape has failed, as, according to Crichton, "some sort of field is holding us in place." See, I give him shit for being dumb, and then he goes and wows me with a detailed technical explanation like that. They ponder their next move, and Crichton offers that they could wait for the others to come rescue them. With impeccable comic timing, they look at each other, and then rush off to try something else. Hee. It's nice when a moment like that sneaks up on you.
Back on the Shiphole, Staanz is offering D'Argo something unappetizing to eat, something wacky happens with the engines, and then Staanz notices something that looks like a red TIE fighter on a display, which he says represents "Kcrackic's tracer beam," and further "explains" that Kcrackic is the "red mentor" to the Zenetans. Gabba gabba whizzle. Shiz boink whoop. Oh, sorry, I was trying to make sense of all that. Anyway, Staanz reveals the incredible news that Kcrackic doesn't exactly have warm and fuzzy feeling toward him, which might have been more surprising if the Zenetans HADN'T SHOT AT HIM, and goes on that if Kcrackic learns of their presence, he'll seal the Flax up (sure, I totally understand what that means) and they'll never reach the Luxan ship or the pod. Anyway, they manage to escape the tracer beam, but Staanz realizes that Kcrackic is heading straight for Moya, so he urgently tells D'Argo to instruct his shipmates to act as though they've never seen him. That doesn't sound like much of a stretch, particularly not in Rygel's case.