Episode Report Card Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Over Before It Even Staah-ted
By Miss Alli | Season 11 | Episode 4 | Aired on 03.10.2007
Welcome, Uchenna and Joyce. You are team number six.
Of course, Mirna finds the letter to her and Charla first. "See you! Wouldn't want to be you!" she yells. Because she's a well-trained lawyer. If you're hoping to get much satisfaction from the letter, you won't, because it was written by Lance and Marshall. Meaning...it's like the suck leading the suck, or insulting the suck, or something. It talks about how the guys hope they were eliminated, and how they should shut up about how many languages they allegedly speak (heh), and so forth. They get their clue and head for the pit stop.
As Rob continues to look for the letter, he says, "I'm sorry, Amber." "That's okay, babe, it's not your fault," she says easily. She thinks they still have a shot against Charla and Mirna in a foot race. As Charla and Mirna run off, they call back to Amber, "Lying bitch! Bitch!" It's nice to know that Lance and Marshall and Charla and Mirna have so much in common. I might not have thought so, but I'd have been wrong. Even knowing they're sorely behind, Amber chuckles that Mirna and Charla are just mad about the "lying" business from before, and Rob laughs.
Finally, Rob and Amber get a letter, which is also from Susan and Patrick. And it's...very embarrassing. Not for Rob and Amber, but for Susan and Patrick. Because...you were eliminated fourth. Rob and Amber were not your problem. My personal favorite story from their post-race interviews, which I completely believe, is that Rob and Amber didn't remember who Susan and Patrick were until they went home and looked them up on the internet. I believe that wholeheartedly, and even if I didn't, I'd love them for saying it, because they're completely on track that nothing drives people crazy like having you not remember them. The letter implies that they expect that Rob and Amber hate them, and actually, they're like, "Who?" Because...exactly. The fact that people are assholes doesn't mean you have to commit them to memory. Rob notes that the entire letter is "just insulting," but with a smile, and then they take their clue to the pit stop.
There's a lot of stuff that's done here to create tension, and to create a belief that the teams are legging it out, but you can easily see that Rob and Amber are way behind, and they know they're in last. They've never not hustled, and they're not hustling, so they know what the answer is. Meanwhile, Mirna is rather hilariously shrieking at Charla, "LEVEL FIVE! LEVEL FIVE!" I guess they had a pregame discussion about "levels," huh? What do you suppose was the highest available level? Because I don't know about you, but I'm thinking it was level five. If it wasn't, I'm not sure I'm prepared for level six. What I find funniest is that there are a lot of shots of the back of Rob and Amber in which they are clearly ambling, accompanied by Rob's disembodied voice yelling, "Come on! Come on!" Heh. But Mirna really is dragging Charla by the arm and saying, "Let's beat the liars!" Because God knows, it's all about a morality play. And then Mirna drops Charla on her face. I have to think that's bad for your karma.