Episode Report Card Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Over Before It Even Staah-ted
By Miss Alli | Season 11 | Episode 4 | Aired on 03.10.2007
At the airport, Eric and Pink and Uchenna and Joyce get tickets on the 9:40 AM, and they learn that the next flight after theirs leaves at 11:15 AM, so they're thinking anyone who doesn't make the 9:40 will wind up on that flight.
8:11 AM. Charla and Mirna. Mirna wants to go to a hotel and try to call a travel agency about Punta Arenas. Mirna interviews, in an interview I swear I am not making up to be mean, that she works incredibly hard. In fact, she explains, she works harder than anyone else on the race, ever, because Charla can't do anything. We watch as Mirna berates Charla for leaving their Amazing Purse in the car when they arrive somewhere asking about tickets. And why does she have to work so hard? As she explains it, it's "to compensate for any shortcomings." Yes, she really said "shortcomings." And I sat for about five seconds, wondering whether I could think that was funny. I'm not telling you what I eventually decided.
At the airport, the BQs and Danny and Oswald get on the 9:40 flight. After Oswald asks for his tickets in Spanish, Dustin teases that she thinks he told the lady not to let her and Kandice on the flight. "If I were to stab you," he says, "I would stab you right in the front." And he makes a stabbing motion, just so she doesn't miss it. I think he really would stab you in the front, but he'd give you a cocktail to enjoy during your bloodletting. Teri and Ian arrive shortly thereafter, and they try to get on the 9:40 AM also. But they are told when they get to the counter that the 9:40 is closed. Elsewhere, everyone speculates that Rob and Amber are also on the 9:40, unless they got on something sooner. Of course, Rob and Amber are off doing their internet research. The best kind! In fact, in an office at this moment, Rob and Amber are borrowing computers on which they're learning that the thing isn't actually a painting -- it is a real shipwreck. It would have been interesting to see them divert to an art museum. When we return to the Big Kahunas, Teri is still trying to get on the earlier flight. And she's even being polite.
Elsewhere, at a travel agency, Mirna and Charla learn that there's this 9:40 flight to Punta Arenas, but they realize that they'll never make it to the airport on time, so they just book on the 11:15 AM. Eat it! Eat it! ... Oh, sorry. Slight collapse of objectivity.
Back to Teri and Ian. They wait, wait, wait, wait...they can get on! Yeah, I know, it wasn't really that stressful. They're extremely gracious and charming, though. I think they decided this time that she would do the deals with customer service people, heh. Teri tells the camera she's incredibly relieved about making the first flight. They even have a little smooch on the escalator, which I love. Again I ask: what is up with the universe? If Ken and Gerard had been invited, would they have been huge assholes? I do not understand, but I worry about the conservation of awesomeness. Maybe somewhere, Kris and Jon are assholes right now.
Joe and Bill arrive at the airport. They also want on the 9:40, but even though they make great displays of shuffling their backpacks to demonstrate that they're ready to hop right on the plane this minute, they just can't get it done. I'm still glad they did the backpack dance, though, because it certainly amused me personally. The plane boards. Bill wants to know if they can get on. They can't. They argue that the Arr/Dep board indicates that the plane hasn't left yet, so they should be able to get on. They can't. You know, guys, the last time you raced, air travel was a little different, as far as how whimsical it tended to be. I'm just saying. "Okay," Joe finally says. "He's not going to let us on." And indeed, the 9:40 AM flight takes off without them. Tragedy!