Episode Report Card Erin: C | 1 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT Blowback? Blow me.
By Erin | Season 3 | Episode 14 | Aired on 03.06.2004
Okay, now we're in Vancouver, only this time, we're early. Luc, the real guard, is sitting at his desk reading a magazine. Sark Mission Impossibles down from the ceiling and stabs Luc in the neck. Lauren, sporting a ridiculous red wig, swings down to join him. That's just…why is she wearing a wig? Is that supposed to be a disguise? She's dressed in head-to-toe black, has more makeup on than Ru Paul on Oscar night, and her hair is FLAMING -- like, she's not in danger of blending in here, okay? Unless she's planning on attending an S&M party later, the entire outfit is completely stupid. But she looks good. I mean, better. I guess.
She tells Sark that Syd and Vaughn should be there in about twenty minutes. He tells her to get her swerve on then and bust it. She stalks off in search of a file room. She really does look much better in her evil bitch attire than she does in those mousy CIA suits. I still don't like the character, but at least I like looking at her now. Lauren chats with Sark about how she's going to corrupt the file and leave the CIA blind. He says that this will put another black mark on her hubby's record. "How does it feel to systematically ruin a man from the inside out?" he asks. "It wouldn't be the first time," she snerks. Oh, right. So we're supposed to believe that Lauren fucks men up. For a living. All the time. That's just…yeah. I buy it. Except for the part where I don't. Whatever. After dumping the real guard and putting on his jacket, Sark buzzes his bimbo into one of the rooms.
Then we catch up with Syd and Vaughn as they're heading to their file room. Geek speak geek speak geek speak. This time, after Vancouver Dude tells Luc to buzz them into a room, we see Sark look up from the magazine. Lauren's still messing with the file system. Sark tells her that Vaughn and Syd have just entered their room. Lauren says she's planting the file and that Sark better get out and get the car ready. "You are so controlling," Sark says in a moderately humorous tone that suggests he's enjoying the husband/wife bickering and playacting. I will be so glad when his devious endgame is revealed and we can all forget about what a dishrag he's being right now. He stands up and gets rid of the jacket as Syd and Vaughn enter their room. Vancouver dude turns and sees that Luc/Sark is gone.
Syd and Vaughn are just discovering the virus. Again, just repeating this scene is incredibly lame. Is Lauren in the room with them? Is Sark? Is either of them directly involved in this scene? Is either of them in Marshall's office? Because we repeat his scene as well. EVEN THOUGH THIS WHOLE PART IS SUPPOSED TO BE FROM THE EVIL POINT OF VIEW. Whatever. Vancouver Dude is about to discover Luc's dead body when Lauren pops out from behind him and orders him at gunpoint to drop his walkie-talkie. He does. She then tosses a gun at him and orders him to shoot Syd and Vaughn when they exit their room. Vancouver Dude doesn't really like this idea, but Lauren's gun pressed against his Adam's apple is pretty damn persuasive.