Episode Report Card Erin: C | 1 USERS: B- YOU GRADE IT Blowback? Blow me.
By Erin | Season 3 | Episode 14 | Aired on 03.06.2004
Sark tells her about some high-level top secret weaponry and wants her to filter any CIA info she gets about it back to the Covenant. She's all, you called me to tell me to do my job? What are you, middle management? Sark's all, baby, sweetie, punkin pie, don't be mad! She just hangs up on him and goes back to sleep. Then we're in the Conference Room of Endless Expositions and we're right in the middle of a repeat performance of the Camp Rainbow Sunshine Shining Sword show. Again, a strict repeat, with no new angles, shots, or dialogue. Except now, we know that Lauren's taking the information being bandied about the room and storing it way back in the Things To Tell The Covenant portion of her brain.
After the meeting breaks up, we follow Syd and Lauren this time instead of Vaughn and Weiss. Lauren finally stops and is all, bitch? Step off. I've said my piece. Syd's all, yeah? Well, then, you'd better find a bench and park it, because it's time for me to say mine. Basically, Syd just gets uppity about Lauren's implication that Syd's actively attempting to demolish the Elephant marriage. "If your marriage is in trouble, if you and Vaughn are having problems, I suggest you leave me out of it, and take it up with your husband," Syd snaps, spinning off to the exit. Lauren just kind of swings her head to the right in a rather saucy fashion and slowly, almost seductively brings her head back around. And there's Weiss, looking at her like she has a big red sign stapled to her forehead that reads, "EVIL BLONDES HAVE MORE FUN." Lauren sort of looks at Weiss like, oh, you are SO not worth my time. And please stop looking at me like that or I'll sic the Evil Eyeliner of Brimming Badness on you. Don't think I won't do it.
Lauren walks off to The Secret Corner of Dastardly Double Agents and makes a call to Sark. She fills him in on the plasma charge and the Vancouver storage facility. He's all, I thought those plasma things were only theoretical. She's all, that's just what Sydney said! You two must be related. He tells her that he'll meet her in Vancouver in four hours. She tells him it has to be three hours instead, because they have to be first in line. "The CIA is sending agents," she says. "Who?" he asks. "One guess," she snits. "Oh, sweetheart," he purrs. "This should be fun." Heh. "I'll see you in Vancouver," she says. "Don't be late. Or call me sweetheart." Ooooh. She's a bad-ass. I called someone a dumbass in a meeting today, and the guy took me aside later and said, "I know you were joking…uh…but…that…well, I don't know…it was kind of…" I just looked at him, my expression probably saying, "Hence the 'dumbass,' dude. Do I lie?" And Lauren's mincy "Or call me sweetheart" is about as threatening as the dumbass and his "Um…don't be meaaaan" speech I had to endure at approximately 3:42 PM today. But Sark seems to think it's hot or something because he's all, ooooh, she's ambitious AND domineering -- FAB! Like, ew, dude. Just…ew.