Episode Report Card M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Oh Me, Oh Maya
By M. Giant | Season 4 | Episode 11 | Aired on 08.28.2004
At a fancy (and, I'm sure, fairly gay) restaurant, The Pasqueasel pontificates to Keith about how he always uses black actors in the films he produces. He asks Keith if he's ever done any acting. Because, he says, Keith has "a face like a movie star." Keith lies that he's happy doing what he's doing, and The Pasqueasel suggests that Keith's life is a movie right there. Then he realizes he's being too subtle and moans, "I love cops." Did I forget to mention that David's sitting right there? Because David's sitting right there. The Pasqueasel's cell phone goes off and he excuses himself to take the call. David calls for the check. "Okay, not only is he suing me," David bitches sotto voce, "but he's hitting on my husband." Maybe it is time for another beating. Keith's met plenty of guys "with their big black sex cop fantasies," which, if it isn't a shout-out, is only because the show used that phrase first. The check arrives and David moves to pay it, but The Pasqueasel has finished his phone call in time to swoop in and snatch it up. David says they'll get it, since, you know, they already owe him half a million dollars and this looks like the kind of place where a dinner would be a nice down payment on that. Although he leaves out the last part. The Pasqueasel says, "What, you think you can buy me off with a dinner? It's nothing personal, David. But you really fucked up. And...well, someone's gotta pay." With that -- and a nakedly speculative look at Keith -- The Pasqueasel is off to the cash register. "Did he just make us an offer?" David asks. Keith says, "I think he'll drop the lawsuit...if I let him blow me." David, horrified, thinks Keith is right. Whatever else they have to say on the subject, they say with their eyebrows.
Keith catches up with The Pasqueasel at the register and demonstrates that he may have a brilliant acting career ahead of him after all: "I hate to play the cop, but you've been drinking, and I should drive you home." "Play cop all you want," The Pasqueasel purrs, handing over the keys to his Porsche. David is right behind Keith, looking like he can't believe that real life sometimes has worse dialogue than all that gay porn he's watched. "Follow us," Keith tells him. David does.
Up in Claire's studio, the Matthew Barney of LAC Arts admires the new mosaic mask she's been working on. He sparks up a pipe, because that's what these characters do, and brings up the Russell issue. Claire says she's so sick of Russell. And in other news, Billy and Brenda Chenowith are the most sexually inappropriate people in the world. Claire rants that "he thinks that it was his idea just because he was in the room when we -- when I...You know what, I don't give a shit." Well, that was kind of an abortive rant. Oops, I shouldn't say "abortive." The Matthew Barney of LAC Arts asks if Russell helped with the photos Claire gave him, and Claire insists that Russell is only the one who tore up the first photo. The Matthew Barney of LAC Arts says that Russell should lay off and "do his own thing with it." Those words reek of a future ass-biting, if you ask me. Claire just wishes Russell hadn't been connected with the idea in any way. You know, I don't actually think Russell has that much of a case, but there's something sketchy about the fact the Claire has trouble making her own argument. It's like she thinks she's less right than she lets on. But the Matthew Barney of LAC Arts has good news for her as he flops down next to her on the bed: he showed her photos to his gallery manager, who was impressed and wants to meet with Claire. Claire is very appreciative, and that the fact that they're on the bed comes quickly into play.