Episode Report Card M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Oh Me, Oh Maya
By M. Giant | Season 4 | Episode 11 | Aired on 08.28.2004
Rico gets the kids ready for school, and Vanessa comes in just as they're heading out the door. Rico hangs back to quiz Vanessa about her evening, and she knows just how to get to him: "It's nice to be with a man who knows how to treat a lady." Rico asks what they did, and Vanessa's got the perfect answer: "Oh, you know. Charity work." Heh. ["Vanessa rules." -- Wing Chun] Rico's had enough, and he announces that he's coming home. Vanessa threatens to call the police if he does. Rico tells her it's his house too, but she says that he can explain that to the cops that she plans to call down on his tiny ass. He punches the front door angrily and walks off. Rico, what are you doing? Don't hit your house! Also, shut up.
Nate, dressed for work but once again having forgotten to do anything with his hair, steps out the front door with Brenda close behind and carrying Maya. Out of nowhere, Barb and Hoyt the Knob charge into the front yard holding hands. They're really upset about what Nate told them and they've decided that they "don't want Maya growing up in this house." "All righty," Nate chirps, and hands her over. No, actually he doesn't. After all the times he's passed her off to other people, he doesn't appreciate the suggestion this time. In fact, his exact words are "No fuckin' way." Barb reminds him about the whole psychic debacle, and Nate yells that he was still in shock. And also high. Surprisingly, that doesn't seem to win Barb over. In fact, she's threatening to involve a lawyer. Nate orders them off the property. Barb screams at Nate, "You're not going to get away with this. You're not!" She and Hoyt the Knob beat a tactical retreat before Nate beats it for them. He practically chases them down the street with effenheimers as it is. He turns and scoops up Maya, who is clearly deeply upset by the ugly display she's just witnessed. I can tell because she's not moving or making a sound. Nate assures her that nobody's taking her away, as if she cares. Brenda does her best to reassure them both as Nate jabbers, "It's not like enough bad shit hasn't happened to me already. I mean, who the hell am I, Job?" I don't know, I think Job was less given to hyperbole. Nate's got himself a good head of freakout built up. He doesn't want to take Maya to day care, so Brenda offers to skip her one class and stay with her. Nate's not ready to let go of Maya just yet, so the little threatened family heads back into the house.
Claire watches over the shoulder of the gallery manager who's appraising her: "Beautiful...complex...alluring...fucking creepy." Oh, wait, he's talking about her photos. He asks how she came up with the concept. She claims it's "something I've done ever since I was a kid. Tearing stuff up." Okay, now she's just making stuff up. ["Well, Ruth will back her up, at least." -- Wing Chun] I was totally behind her, but if she's going to lie about this to a guy who's putting all her photos up in his gallery, it's going to blow up in her face. Oops, I forgot to mention that the guy is going to put her photos up in his gallery. All of them. Claire's thrilled. I'm sure Russell will be too. In any case, Claire is now committed to her course. She obviously has no intention of assigning the credit for this brilliant concept where it clearly belongs: to drugs.