Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 4 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT The Peter Principle
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 15 | Aired on 03.03.2013
DNC Frank: "Eli, you're acting crazy. So what if I fed Petra Moritz a straight-up lie about your chances of going to jail forever? So what if I am sabotaging the exact same campaign I've spent four seasons of this show bear-baiting you into, so what? I am afraid of the DOJ and almost unbelievably compromised in every way you can think of."
Eli: "The thing is that I have never done anything wrong-wrong that you didn't actually show up at my office and force me to do. Santa Claus Blowjob? That was you. Forcing Peter to come to Jesus? You. Turning our backs on the blacks, pissing off the religious contingent and the notoriously even-tempered Donna Brazile? You. Attacking Wendy Scott-Carr's residency for no reason but shittiness? You. Becoming friends with Alicia so she'd give an amazing interview? All you, but thanks for that one. Not to men..."
DNC Frank: "-- Yeah, I'm evil! Hands up who didn't know that. No takers? Why are you whining now?"
Eli: "Because you literally sat in this motherfucking restaurant and lied to sell me out, because you think Peter can win this race and need me in quarantine long enough that it doesn't get on him. Since you can't stop the DOJ legally without exposing yourself as the dealmaking politicians you are, you're burning me to prolong the agony just long enough."
DNC Frank: "Think of me as the scorpion to your frog. The Jackie to your Alicia."
BISHOP TEAM
Cary: "Bail's a no-go because Bishop's clearly a flight risk. So we've created three briefs in three directions for pretrial hearings... Oh, hey Alicia. Hey everybody, look! It's EQUITY PARTNER ALICIA FLORRICK. Shall we applaud, or simply throw ourselves onto the ground in your honor?"
Alicia: "Actually, let's... Hmm. Okay, your first and second briefs seem pretty redundant."
Cary: "Really? Because five seconds ago, you were down for all three. Proletariat, let's hold a democratic vote about whether or not Alicia can go fuck herself."
Team: "[Unanimous yea vote.]"
Alicia: "Managing is hard! Okay, let's say we keep the three briefs. But can we maybe think of ways to be a bit more conservative, as far as hours we spend on them?"
Cary: "Sure, great. You can be in charge of that, little miss micromanagement."
As if there was any way Cary wasn't going to be an ass-ache about this, and honestly you can't blame him. Not getting the promotion is, the way it went down, pretty much a demotion, but if you can't rest in the knowledge that you are at least a known superstar -- non-financial compensation of a sort -- then you really do have nothing. How is this any different from his experience of being Deputy SA for five seconds? Well, for starters, the person whose opinion he respects most and who's basically always been firmly in his corner just showed up to question his judgment in front of his entire team. So there's that.
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