Episode Report Card Alex Richmond: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Crossing Over and Out
By Alex Richmond | Season 2 | Episode 18 | Aired on 04.01.2003
The Captain is making a log. Heh. He's all, T'Pol says the blobs just want to learn about us, but I'm threatened because they're so different. The door chimes and he pauses the computer. It's the doctor. He says a blob entered him right in the middle of his giant horseshoe crab head, but the physiology "wasn't compatible." Oh, and it was "very disturbing." Okaaay.
A blob enters British Guy. He starts vamping and pouting most Zoolanderishly. Is that Blue Steel? Tiger Trap! He gets on the elevator and asks if his riding companion is a female. He's a male. She says she was aware of that. He notes the differences in their anatomy, and she exits, saying, "SIR."
T'Pol's quarters. He's all, "Were you aware you are the most attractive woman on this ship? Please remove your clothes." What a great line. But it doesn't work. She hails the Captain and requests a security team. Brit/Blob is all, don't be afraid. What's it like being a female? Count Chocula and the security team come in and bust up the party. Count Chocula is all, "See how you enjoy the human condition locked in Reed's quarters!" Brit/Blob just stares at the Count, like he wants a piece of that, too.
Count Chocula calls down to Tucker and tells him he wants the ship "out of here." Like you can outrun a light blob. You can't even identify them as life forces! Tucker says okay, then tells a crew member to do something. Off-camera, the crewman is blob-raped. How do I know this? Because the guy just plays dumb. Boy, are those blobs ever wily.
Bridge. Sato says she's been getting reports from all over the ship that crew members are acting strangely. Count Chocula dispatches security teams to corral them all. Another deck-hand asks what if the security teams have been light-blobbed? Well, um, shut up! Chocula whirls and tells T'Pol to go figure out who's been blobbed and who hasn't. Oh, and get Dr. Phlox to help her, too! Tucker works on the engines with his one un-blobbed crew member. Sato asks Count Chocula what's "keeping them from taking all of us?" Oh, taking you with their big...ship? Well, nothing that I can see. Space ethics, maybe? I mean, that ship just came right up and started messing with them, and we're thirty minutes in and nowhere near a resolution, so yeah, I'd say you're screwed. And as soon as Tucker says he's got the engines back online, well, Count Chocula says they aren't going anywhere. They've still got Reed! And, um, probably some other crew members!
Dr. Horseshoe Crab Head and T'Pol have figured it out: elevated acetylcholine levels = blobbing. So, they're going to scan the crew, find the blobbed, and then they'll be off. And by reducing the levels, the person is un-blobbed? Oh, whatever.