Episode Report Card Lady Lola: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Gateau Get Through This
By Lady Lola | Season 5 | Episode 7 | Aired on 02.16.2012
Cue obligatory palate-cleansing sequence of HoYay! between Vinny and Pauly. They're strong as ever, and Vinny even paid for Pauly's lunch, and Pauly paid for Vinny's dry cleaning that morning. Man, that's some next-level shit. Coming soon, a "distinctly elegant" mano a mano wedding. Now that it's legal, it's only a matter of time! The girl at the restaurant tells them, "Behave!" Pauly assures her, "We won't."
Night falls, and Deena calls her friend Joey to subtly orchestrate her pull that night. Snooki, JWOWW, and Sitch stay in while the others head to Jenk's. Ronnie gets his amazing, "Gumby ankles" monkey dancing on, the likes of which we haven't seen since Season 1, if I recall correctly. Sammi is laughing so hard she's cramping, and for a second you can see why these two joined forces in the first place. Why this particular ceasefire has lasted may always go down as a mystery, but I am very happy about it. Reality TV fodder be damned! I'm glad those two crazy kids have stopped abusing themselves and each other. (And my bosses probably just docked my pay for tonight's recap with such treasonous statements.)
Back at the house, Snooki has gotten bored after approximately 27 minutes of normalcy. She brings Lola out to the patio so they can listen to Sitch mutter incoherently about getting wasted and dressing up in whip cream together. Where did that come from? Snooki has to momentarily take off her outdated Gaga sunglasses to give him an appropriate amount of stank eye. Sitch impishly admits, "I'm definitely pushing the envelope right now. I'm just going to flirt with her a little until she bends... or blows me, whatever." Was I the only one that adored the little flash of devilish glee that flashed across Sitch's face in that moment? This past couple of minutes has been an encapsulation of everything that was once great about this show: Pauly pulling chicks, Vinny and JWOWW inconspicuously beating up the beat somewhere in the background, SamRo 2.0 not actively destroying each other's soul, Snooki going "Waaaaaaah!", and Sitch being just enough of a blowhard to be amusing.
Speaking of old classics, Snooki lays some golden era wisdom on us as she puzzles over "clock language." She says, miffed, "When I ask what time it is, and somebody says, 'Quarter past two,' just say it's fuckin', like... 2:30!" Oh Snooki. All this started when she explained that it's "12 to 10." Sitch corrects her that it's "10 to 12 [midnight]," which even still seems a little early for the schedule these kids keep, but I won't ponder it too much because it's already 17 past 12 where I am. Snooki, what time is that? Snooki continues to want to go out, and Sitch continues to try to tempt her with his fur handcuffs. She finally realizes she doesn't have to take this nonsense and stomps her little Yeti boots out of there.