Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Betty Bobs Her Hair
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 7 | Aired on 11.06.2008
"You are crushing hard!" Hilda says. The only truly unhealthy thing about Hilda's close relationship with the rapidly expanding beanpole that is her son is the way she says things like "crushing hard" without even warning you. Betty's like, "Yeah, but he will never date me, because who would." Hilda says Henry and Gio, like that's... Even Betty calls bullshit on that one, pointing out how Jesse is fabulous and vacant, and nobody's made any kind of agreement to pretend that Jesse's ugly, like the whole show did with Henry and his sick body, or that Gio is human size for that matter, so in the universe of the show yes, he is too hot for her.
Hilda, and I finally see what her problem is, mentions the CD: "If a guy needs you to tell him how great he is, he likes you!" HILDA! NO! That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard! How destructive and delusional, it's like that whole "gay is a phase" thing they tell you in middle school so you won't figure out how awesome kissing dudes is before they mess you up. It's a lie that only causes you to go insane and waste time being sucky. If a guy needs you to tell him how great he is, he is a guy. That is all you have deduced: something you already knew.
Then Justin is awesome about, "Aunt Betty, it's not that I don't love what you're wearing right now -- it's very you? -- but maybe for tonight we can go a little simpler." She throws them both out of her apartment as they continue to chatter adorably, and then throws the good Justin clothes in the bathtub so she won't have to look at them and consider her own failures as a human being tasked with dressing herself, and then magical music starts to play. Betty stares at her insane hair in the mirror for awhile, perhaps wondering how come, and screams COMING! even though it's a one-room apartment and Jesse, um, knows that, then counts to whatever number means stupid and then opens the door. But it's not Jesse, it's something way better, which is Amanda in a crazy wild blue trench dress thing holding her dog and smiling freakishly and saying the Meade Building management kicked her out, "So I guess we're staying with you!"
I hope it stays this way forever and ever, like, to the degree that the second this started I got sad about how everything on this show only lasts three episodes, no matter how much of a big deal it seems like when it's happening. That's the key to this show. But this, I love. Amanda's like, "So romantic in here. You have a boy coming over? Okay, it's a boy, right? I need to know these things if we're going to be roomies..." Amanda, this whole speech time, has been taking off her clothes and you're realize she's wearing like everything she owns, which is the only way you can even compete with Betty Suarez in terms of layers.
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