Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Betty Bobs Her Hair
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 7 | Aired on 11.06.2008
Betty informs Daniel proudly that she has found a way to fuck up their party but good -- Oh! Fashion Heats Up is the party, it's about Global Warning, I just figured that out, and I also just realized I've started typing "global warning" without even meaning to, which just proves how powerful Amanda really is -- and Daniel says they've got Mariah, because Connor knows her, because Connor is the coolest guy in the entire universe and when he kisses you it's like eating a cake baked by a rainbow, and Betty's like, "Let's put a pin in Mariah." Which sounds dangerous, considering where you put it, so I think this is one of those party games where you don't cover the eyes. She says Jesse's band -- Dark Sexual Journey, okay -- is "way fresher" than Mariah anyway. In the heightened universe of Ugly Betty I have to wonder what constitutes a dark sexual journey anyway, because it's either the tamest thing you've ever heard or else it's one of those things where you can't unsee it and it drastically alters the course of your life by how fucked up it is.
Betty swears that Jesse's band is this close to breaking, and Daniel punches some random buttons on his phone, awesomely, and pretends to call Mariah. "Hey, it's Daniel Meade! Hi! Turns out we don't need you, yeah... We got Jesse's band! From my assistant's building! Yeah, he is so cute. He's just the dreamiest." I love Daniel Meade. Betty runs away with a scowl instead of being like, "You wanna talk about a motherfucking man crush? Because God forbid we make gigantic decisions about this company's future based on how adorable somebody is."
Amanda and Marc take a turn around the place with her head on his shoulder as he's wigging out about how he can't live with Cliff, it's such a huge step, sometimes he totally is in love with Cliff and other times he can't even believe that they're together. Cliff is so the new Henry, like we all have to pretend that he's not Grade A hottie so that he represents growth on Marc's part, and Amanda's like, "You are not horrible for freaking out about commitment, you're just scared, and also living with a fatass is really difficult." Heh. Marc's like, "Word!" She talks about how her live-in boyfriend Betty is always hogging the bed and making messes and borrowing clothes, and then Marc points out her adorably hypocritical outfit. Amanda preens. "It's Betty's blouse, I totally belted it." I love how Amanda never uses "totally" right, but more than that I love how Amanda can even turn the raw material of the hellish clothes in Betty's closet into cute stuff, but Betty still seems to think that looking repulsive constitutes a moral victory. Wili appears looking scary, and she and Marc stare Amanda out of the room before discussing how stupid women are for crushing on Connor while both admitting they also are crushing on Connor just like everybody, and Marc says he'll set up a meeting.
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