Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Ashley & Teresa: The Same Nasty Person
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 14 | Aired on 08.21.2011
Teresa: "Okay, that definitely sounds like a compliment."Caroline: "Kathy, all your talk of starting business after business has helped me make up my mind about fleeing the sinking ship that is Teresa."
Kathy: "That's all I ever wanted. Yes, we can be friends."
Melissa: "Is there room for me in your new coven that hates Teresa?"
Kathy: "That coven is as big as the world, my dear."
Teresa: "I am sitting right here! Pay attention to me!"
Caroline & Kathy: "That's so great that we're best friends now and we're both restaurantreuses."
Teresa, shitting diamonds at this point: "I am opening a restaurant. Skinny Italian Bistro."
Caroline & Kathy: "You really have to be so focused, like we are. Businesswomen like us that have restaurants."
Teresa: "I said I am opening a restaurant."
Caroline & Kathy: "I love your Goddess shirt and your Goddess hairdo and our wonderful children. We have been so blessed."
Teresa: "I AM OPENING A RESTAURANT TOO!"
Melissa: "...There we go. Teresa does not disappoint."
Kathy: "What will you be doing in this imaginary restaurant?"
Teresa: "I will wear beautiful gowns. That will be my job. At the restaurant I am opening."
Kathy: "Um, sure. God forbid I make fun of your very fancy pizzeria you're already using to launder money, but by all means tell us more about this new venture."
Teresa: "Actually, I am opening five restaurants. I am opening a restaurant inside of a restaurant. I am opening a restaurant on the moon. Skinny Italian Bistro di Luna."
Kathy: Loving the shit out of this.
Teresa: "Kathy's so stupid that she put parsley in her food, which is not a Middle Eastern thing because we don't use it in Italian food."
Kathy: "Just eat the fucking salad. It's a salad."
Teresa: "I have one again mistaken Jacqueline's shit-stirring for accomplice-ship, and will be making an ass of myself about the parsley. Probably I am not even talking about parsley. I could be talking about literally any food item and calling it the name of some other food item. Whatever it is, I'm going to laugh in Kathy's face about it even though she clearly knows what she's doing, whereas I am illiterate."
Jackie: "I can't believe what an asshole Teresa is being to Kathy's face about the salad. This is so awesome!"