Episode Report Card Cindy McLennan: A+ | 2 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Kill Bill: Vol. 2
By Cindy McLennan | Season 3 | Episode 13 | Aired on 02.02.2012
Matt: Hey, I'm gonna just sidle up here and spread my Pudding Pop-ness all over you lovely, sad ladies.
Cindy: *Sniff* That means more than you'll ever know, Matt.
Matt: Um, I was talking to the women who are my age. You're a little...outside the range I've put up on my online dating profile.
Cindy: I was going to act all offended, but I am way too old for you. I'm married, too. I mostly just want to take you home, wrap you in a blanket, and feed you warm, chocolate pudding.
Matt: *Sigh* That's what she said, and she said, and they all said -- hence the dating profile.
Elena, Caroline, Cindy: Oh Matt, you are the awesomest guy who is never going to get any from any of us.
Back at Club Handsome...
Elijah: So Stefan, where is the lovely Elena, tonight?
Stefan: I don't know. Ask Damon.
Klaus: LOL. It's totally the lure of the Petrova doppelganger. Hey Elijah, let's tell them about Tatia.
Elijah: Must we go there?
Klaus: Don't make me redagger you.
Elijah: So our family left the Old World and came to Virginia before it was Virginia and there was this girl, right? Everyone wanted her, even though she was damaged goods, having had a child by another man. Klaus was like ZOMG, I lurvvvvvvvvvvvve her more than everyone else does.
Klaus: Oh Kettle. Pot is calling you back on Line One.
Elijah: Don't be derivative, Niklaus. It's beneath us. Leave that to the recapper.
Recapper: But Elijah, you are the one who encouraged me to revert to this format, this week. I feel so betrayed. I really do love your new hairdo, though.
Stefan: I am totally laughing at you two "Originals" for falling in love with the same woman, even though Damon and I have done this at least twice.
Elijah: Can I finish my story, you ugly (albeit handsome) Americans? Our mother was a powerful witch because she is portrayed by one of the women who played Eloise Hawking on Lost, and no one is scarier than Eloise.
Damon: I never got to meet Eloise. I was too busy sleeping with my step-sister, dying and ending up in Locke's freaky-ass dreams.
Elijah: Anyhow, mother wanted to end my feud with Klaus, so she "took" Katia.
Recapper: Is that a sex euphemism? I mean -- what does that mean -- she "took" her?
Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19Next