Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 319 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Since The Night Matthew Ashbaugh Died
By Jacob Clifton | Season 5 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.27.2013
What she means is that he was always standing silently in the corner of her life, her marriage; she needs a life that doesn't smell like him. But what he hears is that he was never really there at all. He'll never know how close he came, or how dangerous he was. How dangerous he is:
It takes him two tries to clear her desk. It is louder than anything.
"I took you in. No one wanted you, I hired you. I pushed for you. This is a business decision? You were poison! This firm got you back on your feet. And this is your gratitude? Stealing our clients? You have a fiduciary responsibility to this firm, and you were going behind our backs."
Alicia: "Hold it. I didn't go behind any backs."
Will: "You what? You negotiated Diane's exit package, the whole time, you knew you were leaving."
Alicia: "Nothing I was doing impacted that negotiation."
Your existence impacted that negotiation. Your existence is what kept me from falling apart:
"God, you're awful, and you don't even know how awful you are."
Not untrue. But not entirely true, not anymore. Not since the night Matthew Ashbaugh died.
Kalinda had the best of intentions. You can trace the story she told herself, about Peter, that it was before she loved you, before she even knew you. You could listen to that painful story and all the ethics and silence that went into it, all the way down the line, and it wouldn't mean a thing, because it's a story you weren't there for: You're here now, in the result, and intentions don't mean shit. Doesn't mean she won't try.
It's practiced, rehearsed. You can always tell you're on the wrong side when you already have your justifications locked and loaded:
"This is how you and Diane started this firm..."
He swallows vomit, and reaches for her phone, on the floor, in the wreckage:
Will: "Okay. First of all, you're fired. Second, I'm taking this phone until such time as..."
Alicia: "Excuse me? That's my personal..."
Will: "Fine, but I'm taking it into possession until I can determine which clients you've attempted to steal."
Alicia: "You can't do that."
Will: "Let's talk about what we can and can't do, good idea. What you can do is get the fuck out of here."
What she can do is keep telling the story she's been telling herself for months. He clenches his fists around her phone.
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