Episode Report Card Kim: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Napoleon's Boney Parts
By Kim | Season 3 | Episode 2 | Aired on 07.20.1999
In McManus's office, Said tries to explain all the reasons why his group has to have a fast. McManus says, "If you're asking for permission to fast, I don't care. Stop eating!" Heh. Said explains that it's more complex than that, because he has to eat at sunset and pre-dawn, when he's in lockdown, so he needs McManus's consent to have food in his cell. McManus says that it's not Burger King and he can't have it his way. Who told McManus he was such a wit? Because he's really not, and he needs to stop with the tired jokes. Said stands to go, but McManus offers to make a trade: he'll grant the terms of the fast if Said will drop the lawsuit. Said says he's not alone in the lawsuit, but McManus says Said is the instigator, and McManus wants to put the riot behind them. Said says they need to remember the riot. Flashback to McManus telling Said during the riot that they are on the brink of disaster, and McManus wants another chance, which Said grants. Back in the now, Said says he won't forget the promise McManus made. McManus denies Said the fast, which Said claims is unconstitutional. McManus asks him if he's going to file another lawsuit, and Said counters that instead, he'll go on a hunger strike. You know why? Because Said don't mind stealing bread from the mouths of decadence. Sorry, my grunge roots are showing.
Claire walks into the break room and tells Diane that she was right -- McManus is dreamy. Diane doesn't recall saying that. Claire reveals that they've been dating. Ugh. Tim, what were you thinking? Diane gives her take on the Tim McManus dating plan: dinner at a diner, where he talks about growing up in Attica; cancelled second date; third date at a fancy restaurant, followed by sex. Claire says they had sex after the diner. Diane doesn't quite know what to say to that one. Just then, Tim walks in and asks to talk to Diane alone. He just talked to the hospital, and her mother died. Diane says she's been expecting it, since her mother's been sick a long time. Claire watches them interact with a scary look on her face. Tim offers Diane all sorts of help, and finally just hugs her as she sobs. Claire is none too happy about the hug.
Hill is dressed as a proto-Ladies' Man from SNL as he tells us that Napoleon was "a great seducer of beautiful and taller women." Napoleon apparently felt that close quarters were the secret to wooing women and winning wars. Hill reminds us that "there ain't no closer quarters than Oz, baby."
Claire walks into McManus's office and asks after Diane. Tim says that she is, as you'd expect, a mess. Claire thinks it's strange, given that her mother has been dying for a year. Tim gives her a look like, "Exactly how insensitive are you, anyway?" so Claire changes tactics and says that she found a great restaurant for them. Tim has to cancel because he has to go to the funeral home. Claire starts to leave so she can boil Tim's pet rabbit, but then turns back and confronts Tim about the way he comforted Diane in the lounge, after he told Claire he was over Diane. Tim says that there is nothing between him and Diane, just like there's nothing between him and Claire, since they only went out twice. Claire yells that they fucked twice. Their raised voices attract the attention of some nearby inmates, including Kenny. Claire reminds Tim that he claimed to have feelings for her. Tim says that he did, until she turned into "a cloying bitch." Claire starts pushing Tim around as the inmates watch earnestly. Tim goes to close his blinds, but Claire attacks him from behind. Tim struggles, but then pins her on his desk and tells her to calm down. When he finally lets her up, she storms out and screams, "Fuck you!" The inmates giggle. Tim pulls the blinds, a little too late.