Episode Report Card Kim: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Napoleon's Boney Parts
By Kim | Season 3 | Episode 2 | Aired on 07.20.1999
McManus pitches the boxing program to Leo, Sister Pete, and Father Ray. Each group (Aryans, Muslims, et cetera) will field a boxer, and they'll have an elimination tournament. Ray calls it "organized violence," but Sister Pete says that similar programs in other prisons have been positive. Leo is worried about the gambling aspect, but McManus says the gambling already exists. Leo gets the final word, and says he'll see if the commissioner will sign off on it. So I guess he didn't really get the final word.
At some sort of summit of the prisoners, McManus lays out the program. Augustus says that he used to box, and Ryan guesses that it must have been in the Special Olympics. This gets big yuks from Chuckie Pancamo. Kenny wonders why they should bother competing if there isn't a purse, and Said says that it's for "the greater glory of [their] tribe." Ryan brags that Cyril is a former Golden Gloves champion.
In the gym, each group is training their boxers. Augustus tells us that Napoleon said that "men are more easily governed by their vices than their virtues," as we see Cyril, bloodied and beaten, being counted out by a referee. Oh, no. Augustus is all dressed up like Don King, with the hair and everything. A microphone descends, and Augustus grabs it and tells us that Napoleon also said that there's only one step from the sublime to the ridiculous, and that Napoleon must have known Tim McManus. Okay, I'll forgive him the Don King hair because he made fun of McManus, which is always okay by me.
McManus walks upstairs. Kenny, standing in the door of his pod, warns Snake (a.k.a. Treach) that McManus is coming. McManus tells Snake that his new work assignment is in the barbershop. Kenny insists that Snake is working in the kitchen with him. McManus says that he still makes the work assignments. Kenny insists that he's now to be called "Bricks," and McManus agrees to call him that, but not really, and walks away. Snake stands up and suggests that Nappa is behind the change in work assignment.
In the kitchen, Kenny walks up to Nappa and starts yelling to get his attention. Nappa ignores him. Kenny runs right into the brick wall that is Chuckie Pancamo. Kenny accuses Nappa of getting Snake's work assignment changed, and Nappa says that McManus has his own plans. Kenny wants Nappa to get it changed back. Nappa says that he doesn't like or trust Snake, so Snake won't be back in the kitchen any time soon.
The barber, who resembles Julia Sweeney's character Pat, asks Snake about his father being a barber. The barber is shaving the back of Augustus Hill's neck. Snake doesn't look very interested in the conversation. Hill wants a shave, and the barber wants a smoke break, so Snake offers to fill in. As soon as the barber is out the door, Snake tells Hill that his father wasn't a barber. Snake lathers up Hill's face and then kicks away his wheelchair so he can't "go running away." Snake grabs a straight razor and tilts back the barber's chair, which causes Hill to change his mind about the shave. Snake isn't having it and starts shaving away, with that razor blade right on Hill's neck. Snake asks Hill what he's in for (killing a cop) and then Snake trumps him: he killed a whole family, including an infant. Hill asks why, and Snake says angrily, "For fun!" Hill asks how, and Snake makes him guess. Hill figures out that he slit their throats, and grabs Snake's hand to keep the razor from his own throat. Augustus tells Snake that he knows he's lying, because Snake is in for armed robbery. Snake claims that he never got caught for the murders, and then he looks meaningfully at Hill and claims that he never will. Hill demands his wheelchair back, and Snake obliges, although it seems kind of out of character, seeing that minutes ago he was about to slit Hill's throat. But we all know that Hill can't die. He's the narrator!