Episode Report Card Keckler: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Naked Then
By Keckler | Season 2 | Episode 9 | Aired on 11.19.2002
Engineering. Reed blathers more at Trip about his security thingy and tells him that he thought calling it "Reed Alert" was too narcissistic, so he needs a new name. How about Diaper Alert? Reed tries out several alarm systems -- all of which would drive anyone screaming out of the airlock -- and tries to get Trip's opinion on them. Trip tells him, "They both sound like a bag full of cats!" and goes on to say that he really doesn't give two hoots about Reed's security thingy, because he's got the Captain's ass in the forefront of his mind. "Fine! Let's hope we don't suffer a catastrophic reactor breach in the meantime!" Reed snits off. And when I say "snits," I really mean "hissyfits." Trip gives a good impression of someone grinding his teeth down to their roots.
Galley. Line Cook comes in and tells Iron Chef Hoshi that she's got a mess of hungry crewmen waiting for their chow: "If we don't serve something soon, we're going to have a riot on our hands!" Iron Chef Hoshi hands him a spoon and asks, "Is this too salty?" Line Cook rears back in annoyance, and Iron Chef Hoshi takes the untasted spoon away and tastes it herself. "Something's not right," she mutters, "Hand me the Kreetassan spice, I'll add it to the stock. Oh, and I'm out of carrots." Line Cook starts to tell her again that there are twenty-five people in the Mess Hall who are about to start banging on their plates, but Iron Chef Hoshi interrupts him yelling, "CARROTS!" Hee! Line Cook brings out the carrots and attempts to talk sense into Iron Chef Hoshi, so she relieves him of his duties. You know, he's acting pretty normal -- is it only the starring cast and May-Something who's affected by Obsessive Compulsiviosis? "Ma'am --" Line Cook starts again. "GET OUT!" Iron Chef Hoshi shrieks, shaking with rage. No soup for him, I guess.
Armory. T'Pol enters to ask for Reed's help, but Reed demands her clearance code before he'll speak to her. "The Armory is a restricted area!" Reed informs her. "Even to the First Officer?" T'Pol inquires. Reed rolls his eyes and asks how he knows she's really the First Officer if she doesn't give him her clearance code. I think her dinners are her clearance codes. "We've encountered species that can alter their appearance. They could masquerade as any one of us. I've issued codes to all senior officers to reveal if the ship's been infiltrated by impostors," Reed tells her. What if these masquerading aliens take on the appearance of a non-senior officer, like Daniels? What then, Tom Ridge? T'Pol carefully assumes that his paranoia is all part of his new security protocol. "It was sent to your console as a voice-encrypted command packet," Reed tells her. T'Pol lets him know she hasn't been to the Bridge for several hours, and again asks for his help in installing a sensor interface in her quarters: "I've asked Commander Tucker, but he became agitated. It was uncharacteristic. Even for him." Hee. T'Pol asks Reed if he's noticed anything "abnormal" about Trip's behavior. Where do I even start with that one? Instead of answering -- or thinking that if Trip is reportedly acting strangely, it might mean he's been infiltrated by a masquerading alien -- Reed suspiciously asks, "Why do you want to access the sensor array from your quarters?" T'Pol tells him that Quantum ordered her to run systems of the trinary star system. "I wasn't informed," Reed announces. "It's not a tactical issue," T'Pol tells him carefully, and spies a phase pistol at his side. She wants to know why he's armed. "From now on, security personnel are to wear side-arms in all restricted areas," Reed smugs. T'Pol ascertains that nothing Reed has been implementing in his new security proposal has yet been cleared by Quantum. Reed gets derisive and bitter as he says, "I've been trying to get him to pay closer attention to security since we left spacedock. But he's more interested in fraternizing with the crew. Inviting them to breakfast and to watch water polo [hee!]. I intend to implement some long-overdue changes and if the Captain won't approve them, then I'll go directly to Starfleet Command!" Reed asks if T'Pol wants anything else. "No," she tells him, and slowly backs away from him and out of the Armory. It's interesting that Snarky Reed is more like Bitchy Reed. Hmm.
T'Pol logs that she realized the "odd behavior" was affecting everyone around her: "Growing consumed with matters that seemed trivial at best. I also discovered that although I appeared immune, the Captain was not." Duh -- she's Vulcan and he's not, so why would she ever think he would have been immune? For a Vulcan, she's not all that logical sometimes.