Episode Report Card Demian: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Desperate Crackmonkeys
By Demian | Season 8 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.15.2005
Not!warts. Evil Michelle Stafford babytalks at the Psycho while leading him over to a low table, upon which a brass bowl has been placed, surrounded by five candles. The Dolt, seeking to remain as inconspicuous as possible, fumbles around with the books on the far side of the room, but keeps a fretful eye on the proceedings nonetheless. Evil Michelle Stafford kneels and, after ensuring the Psycho's ready to perform his part in the ritual, recites the following:
We call to you that away was torn:
Return, Master Of All Evil Born.
Evil Michelle Stafford prompts the Psycho to poke his index finger in the bowl's contents, promising, "It'll make some really neat magic!" The Psycho complies, and the bowl emits first a reddish glow, then a stream of sparks that leap across the room to dive into the inverted pentagram on the wall. The pentagram's sides burst into crappily CGI'd flames that push out from the wall to spin clockwise for a moment before contracting to spit The Famous Almost-Original Source out all over the floor. "WHERE AM I?" Peter Woodward howls, snacking away on any and all nearby scenery in the process, and dude. For one thing, dial it down about eight or nine notches, okay? We're not deaf. Kisses. For another, I'd be very careful with the scenery chomping if I were you. I mean, they barely have enough money in the budget to cover your salary, much less replacement costs for any Not!warts walls you happen to get stuck in your teeth. "WHO BROUGHT ME BACK?" Peter Woodward continues, and sigh. They never, ever listen to me, do they? Evil Michelle Stafford rather pridefully claims joint responsibility for The Famous Almost-Original Source's continuity-destroying resurrection on behalf of herself and the dead-eyed Psycho as the sullen Psycho balefully glowers all the way into what I'm praying is the final commercial break. Yes, this should be cause for a DUN!, but because I gave up on this awful, painful, wretched, wicked episode long before the end of the second act, I'm withholding the DUN! out of spite.
...and we're back. And I just sat through the entire Famous-Almost-Original-Source-related sequence that follows, up to and including the vanquish we all knew was coming, and I can't think of a single damn thing to say about any of it. Bringing back The Source was a bad, bad idea, crackmonkeys. The only way to explain his reappearance is to contort or demolish every single rule you'd previously established regarding this supernatural world you've created, and as I've spent far too much time cataloguing those rules over the last God knows how many years, I'm far more inclined to forget this episode ever existed than to detail this ass scene.