Episode Report Card Demian: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Desperate Crackmonkeys
By Demian | Season 8 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.15.2005
Not!warts, where we pick up immediately after we left off. As Evil Michelle Stafford leads the Psycho over to some undoubtedly wicked toys on the floor, the Dolt moves to confront her. The Retarded Bimbo, however, pulls him back, correctly insisting that if he's not careful, he'll get the two of them killed. And that would be a bad thing because...why? They ignore me, with the Dolt instead spinning around to begin a frantic search through the bookshelves. The Retard, for her part, trains her focus on Evil Michelle Stafford, who's rather loudly reviewing her plan with her greasily poofy primary henchdemon. "Found it!" the Dolt whispers, crossing to rejoin The Retard at the table. "Who's The Source?" The Retard asks, referring to the entity she of course overheard being discussed. The Dolt allows himself a moment of sheer panic before pushing the appropriate transportation spell into The Retard's hands, urging her to return to the Manor immediately for backup while he remains at Not!warts to ensure the safety of his horrible brat as best he can. The Retard protests, mainly because the Dolt is completely lacking in the power department at the moment, but he insists. The Retard vanishes into the hall as the Dolt shoots a concerned glance over at mutant freak he calls a son.
Preschool Of The Damned, and wow. It's Emily Valentine from 90210! And is Christine Elise really forty years old? She's looking pretty damn good for her age, despite her abuse of the black eyeliner in this scene. It only serves to enhance the slight puffiness she's got around her eyes, you see. And...that's all I care about, really. Christine's just here to inform Piper that Evil Michelle Stafford signed the Psycho out and likely took him back to her house for a play date with her son. Piper acidly notes that if that's the case, then what is Evil Michelle Stafford's child still doing at the preschool? Christine hasn't an answer for that one, because she didn't make the guest scroll at the top of the hour because she hasn't had much of a career for the better part of ten years and so finds the number of lines she's allowed to recite sorely limited, so Piper storms out, muttering darkly about Christine's incompetence. Or maybe she was muttering about Evil Michelle Stafford being a dark demonic force sent from the flaming maw of Hell in sweater set and pearls. Whatever it was, I'm not rewinding to check, so you'll just have to live with the uncertainty, 'kay?
Manor. Raige enters through the front door and clatters through the foyer until she's beset by a snarling Feebs, who's unexpectedly lunged from the front parlor to tackle Raige to the carpet, promo-style. They scream at each other over Raige's stupid excursion to Vex Pexter's physically impossible garret for all of eleven seconds until Piper bursts in with news that the Psycho's been kidnapped and the Dolt has gone missing. The action abruptly cuts to the nonexistent attic, where Piper pedeberates herself for not recognizing all of the supposed demonic warning signs Evil Michelle Stafford was sending in her general direction. Piper then orders Raige to scry for the Dolt while she herself abuses the Book of Shadows for any relevant information. Phoebe's just jiggled up to the potions pot to whip up something deadly for Evil Michelle Stafford when The Retard bimbos into the nonexistent room with word of the demonic goings-on over at Not!warts. When she drops The Source bomb on the Glamoured Glamorous Idiots' heads, things get real quiet until Mugs McGowan pierces the silence with a breezy "Well, ladies, how are we enjoying our demon-free existence now?" That depends on how many foo-foo Peruvian sugar boogers you still have shoved into your bra, I suppose. Oh, and shut up, Raige.