Episode Report Card Demian: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Passion Of The Chris, Part I
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 22 | Aired on 05.15.2004
In any event, the Dolt inquires as to the readiness of the spell Raige had been scripting, and Snidely calls out that it's pretty much done. "It should work," he amends with generous amounts of caution flooding every word of that sentence as he himself crosses from the table to join the Manor Morons at the center of the room. The Dolt's all, "Whuh?" so Snidely's forced to remind him in the most snappishly unctuous of tones that "there are no guarantees with time travel." The Dolt flusters. Piper shoots Snidely A Look Of Death. Snidely bumbles an insincere apology before muttering that there's always a chance something could go wrong, so they should prepare themselves for that possibility. Gee, ya think Snidely's been fucking with the spell? Hmmm? What are the odds? The Dolt insists he's not sending his younger, prettier son "through a one-way portal" unless he's certain of where Chris will end up. Snidely craftily notes that the Dolt will never be certain of Big Chris's ultimate destination unless he himself accompanies Chris on the journey. The Dolt argues that if that's the case, they'll bail on the spell, thank you very much, and send Chris back to the future via a potion. That way, if anything's wrong, all he need do is crack open another vial of the stuff to return to the present. Piper agrees, so the guys are to remain in Not!warts to whip up a batch of the stuff while Raige heads back to the Manor for a round of expository blather with the Feebs. Erm. "While Raige heads back to the Manor to place Piper's belongings in the Patricia Campbell Hearst Commemorative Child Care Nook." Upon mention of the nook, Raige gets all shifty and deceitful, for she has not prepared Tiny Gay Chris's future boudoir. She finally cops to her laziness, however, leading Piper to snort something about how Tiny Chris will be bunking with Raige if Raige doesn't get her act in gear, pronto. Big Chris looks as skeeved at that prospect as any sensible human being would, while Raige promises to do her best and crosses to orb out with the bags. As Raige dematerializes, Piper calls out an order for "lots and lots of diapers." With the image of, say, the Feebs changing his soiled undergarments dancing through his head, Chris has had more than enough ickiness for one day and deadpans, "Okay. Gotta get outta here." He eeks himself back to the table while Piper and the Dolt exercise their eyebrows in wry amusement.
Snidely's study. The smug prick passes through the telekinetically opened and shut door and crosses to a patchwork arras. Snidely slides the cloth to one side to reveal a massive mirror set against the wall, within which a greasier version of himself appears. "They prepare to send the boy home," the two Snidelys intone as one. Our Snidely then sits. Looking-glass Snidely remains standing. And oily. Sharing the expository duties, and in the process turning what is pretty much the monologue that follows into a colloquy, the Snidelys sneer something about getting "the sisters and [the Dolt] and [Big Gay] Chris out of the way." "Don't worry," our Snidely assures his slick-haired doppelganger. "We will." The camera pulls into an extreme close-up of looking-glass Snidely's face, the better to draw attention to the ridiculous gold hoop earrings he's sporting, as well as the nasty scar gouged into the right side of his face. Slimy Snidely grins. Evilly. DUN! Also: CREDITS!