Episode Report Card Demian: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Passion Of The Chris, Part I
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 22 | Aired on 05.15.2004
Cut to Our Not!warts, where Piper's just witnessed the same thing. "Why didn't they come through?" she worries before wincing in pain and clutching at her bloated midsection. Snidely helps her to a chair, urging her to take it easy, as they wouldn't want her entering "premature labor," like, you douchebag. She's full-term. It would not, therefore, be premature. Jackass. Snidely stares menacingly at the nearby strollered Psycho before vanishing into the commercial break.
Bizarro Not!warts. Bizarro Snidely gets both frisky with the exposition and inappropriately close to Phoebe and Raige. The exposition we've already heard. The inappropriate closeness, however, is new, and inappropriately amusing. Raige wonders why their doppelgangers haven't already found Big Gay Chris and the Dolt. Bizarro Snidely lies that due to the exchange of boys, the parallelism of the two worlds has been thrown off. Now with two Phoebes and two Raiges in the same world, even worse things could happen. Bizarro Snidely illustrates this point with inappropriate hand gestures that make it look like he's feeling up a pair of imaginary boobs. Heh. Inappropriate touching follows as Bizarro Snidely suggests they set aside their differences to solve their current dilemma. Hee. Phoebe bats his hands away and insists she and Raige have everything under control. All they need do, she argues, is find Bizarro Piper to reactivate the portal. Bizarro Snidely cautions that should they find Bizarro Piper, the latter will likely slaughter them on sight. "She's evil, remember?" he prompts. "She's got a terrible temper," he adds, gossiping. "Even worse when she's pregnant." Phoebe and Raige glance at each other and are all, "Yeah, not too different from ours, then." Heh. More blather as Bizarro Snidely removes an imaginary piece of lint from Phoebe's top, right above the left Fun Bag. Snork. After far too much blithering of the "It's a different world!" sort, Phoebe and Raige clasp hands to orb out in search of Big Gay Chris and the Dolt.
Bizarro Prescott Street, which looks like a slum, which means the crack house next door to the Manor is finally appropriate to the setting. As the camera pans up from a pack of rats squirming atop an overturned metal drum, we get an eyeful of sere lawns, damaged trees, cracked pavement, and filthy, abandoned cars. I'm assuming a majority of this shot has been digitally altered, as I doubt the production team went into Echo Park and destroyed all of those gardens for this sequence, and I've got to say the effect is seamless. Then again, as Raige and Phoebe amble down the sidewalk during the chatter that follows, the ruined, garbage-strewn lawns look awfully real, so maybe those bastards did waste a ton of money destroying the neighborhood for a four-minute scene.
The gals evaluate the Bizarro Manor façade for the briefest of moments before deciding not to enter, figuring that Big Gay Chris and the Dolt wouldn't have, either. They scamper to avoid various criminal types as a cab cruises by with an advertisement for Bizarro Phoebe's advice column. "Ask Phoebe," it says. "Read me…or else." Yeah, funnier the first time around. Phoebe and Raige decide to track down Bizarro Doormat, for some reason believing he'll be of assistance in this world when he's not in theirs. Whatever. Raige whips out her cell phone to see if it works in the parallel universe. Surprisingly enough, it does, so she rings up Bizarro Trudeau Memorial. Before she gets a chance to talk to anyone, though, the two spot the Bizarro Patrolman approaching Bizarro Mrs. Noble to gripe and bitch about how much it's going to cost her in bribes for him to issue another citation to Bizarro Phoebe. Bizarro Noble's sporting an all-black sweatsuit here, by the way. Because she's evil. Long story short, the Bizarro Patrolman roughly shoves Bizarro Noble to the ground, but quickly retreats when he spots Phoebe and Raige, mistaking them for their supposedly supremely wicked counterparts. Phoebe tries to help Bizarro Noble to her feet, but the neighbor lady screams at the sight of the Feebs and flees of her own volition. "We must be some bad-ass witches in this world," Phoebe guesses. "Remember that for when we meet up with bad-ass [Doormat]," Raige smirks.