Episode Report Card Lady Lola: D | 52 USERS: D+ YOU GRADE IT "Bacon, Egg, and Cheese... Your Girl Blew Me"
By Lady Lola | Season 5 | Episode 10 | Aired on 2012.03.08
Some time later, MVP head home. Vinny has opted for a fuller-figured girl (or as Tyra would say, "fiercely real"), so Pauly picks up two ladies for Vinny's drunk goggles fall off (or whatever goggles he's wearing since he maybe doesn't drink anymore?). Alas, they never do, so the spare girl is left to curl up pathetically on the floor while all the others participate in a Jersey Shore-gy.
Camping time! The kids have condoms and vodka, and Snooki has practiced her stillness in case of bears. What else do you need? Vinny and Pauly have opted to stay behind so they can set up the greatest prank of all time. (Also because woods and blowouts don't mix.) Unsurprisingly, the prank involves moving lots of furniture. Because that was so effective last time... They recruit Danny, who has plenty of bones to pick with the various roommates, and so it begins.
Meanwhile, the campers get portable toilets, among other things, and head to the campsite. They get there, and Deena bemoans the dirt and bugs, saying, "This is not what I was expecting." What were you expecting? While the guys pitch their tents (and make lots of obvious jokes about pitching their tents), Snooki immediately sets up the bar and starts mixing drinks. Then Sitch steps approximately seven feet from the campsite and whips out his dick to urinate. We learn (under duress) that he has many methods of peeing. One involves hopping. Now, I don't have a penis, but that just sounds foolish.
Commercial break: The sweet sound of Snooki going, "WAAAAAAH!" plays in the background under a cue card: "Baby Meatball on board. Congrats, Snooki!" That was just my favorite thing ever.
Seaside. Paul and Vinny have literally made diagrams of their attack plan to flip the Shore House inside out. Vinny insists, "This not only takes muscle, it takes brains..." apparently not enough brains to realize this is dumbass idea. One that includes bringing a kiddie pool inside to simulate the hot tub. Of course, they have to blow it up first. Cue lots of HoYay!
Creepers' Woods. Ronnie and Sitch set up the fire. Ronnie positions the lighter fluid in front of his cock and pretends he's peeing on the fire... for approximately five minutes. Seriously, I think he uses at least half of the bottle. He's very clever that one. Very clever. Even smarter, Sitch throws an entire lit pack of matches at Ronnie and his open stream of lighter fluid. Setting your roommate on fire is hilarious!