Episode Report Card Wing Chun: B+ | 219 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Crush Girl Love Panic
By Wing Chun | Season 2 | Episode 6 | Aired on 2006.09.18
Yeshiva party. There's boisterous circle dancing, and then the song ends, and Andy staggers out to a seat in the hall. Yael follows, singing the song they were just dancing to and flirting with her skirt. As she takes her hair down, she asks whether Andy's still okay with where they've ended up. Andy sighs that he's fine just being a friend, but then Yael put a foot up on Andy's seat, between his thighs, hikes up her skirt, and pulls a flask out of her stocking. Dude. HOT. She takes a lusty swig, and Andy leans forward, imploring her that he has to fuck her. Yael laughs merrily and says that, as she already told him, Andy has none of the qualities she looks for in a male lover. She flops down in the chair next to him as he tells her he can get those qualities: "I know a guy." Yael adds, though, that Andy has soft skin, and sad eyes: "Which are qualities I find attractive when I sleep with women." Andy decides that he can hang with this. Um, me too. Yael is, like, my #1 girl crush of 2006.
Heylia's. The lady of the house is all done up in a plain, body-concealing white smock dress, her hair all tied up in a white scarf, as she serves a halal dinner to Joseph and Vaneeta. Joseph says he appreciates that Heylia is sensitive to his dietary laws, and she chuckles that it's fun. As he enthuses over the lamb chops, Vaneeta says she likes pork chops. Joseph condescendingly tells her that the pig is a filthy animal, which carries parasites, and Vaneeta, unconcerned, says that those parasites taste good to her. Joseph patronizes that he's just trying to educate her, but Vaneeta's not interested, and reminds him that this isn't Muslim school. Heylia warns her to pipe down, but Joseph says he'll talk to her. He tells Vaneeta that her hostility is obvious: "What's troubling you?" Vaneeta says she's not thrilled with him coming around with this "holier-than-thou bullshit." Heylia angrily reaches for a platter, trying to signal Vaneeta to shut it, but she persists: "'We don't eat this. We don't do that. We like our women dressed like fucking beekeepers.'" Heylia slams the bowl down, with a sharp look. Joseph, though, isn't done with Vaneeta, and even as Heylia frowns at him like he's overstepping his bounds, he tells Vaneeta that with her tattoos, her braids, and her pottymouth, it's no wonder her baby "has no father." "Fuck you, you bowtie-wearing motherfucker!" is Vaneeta's succinct rejoinder. Heylia asks both of them to stop so they can have a nice meal, but Joseph says that he's lost his appetite, and leaves, telling Heylia he'll call her. Once he's gone, Heylia throws down her napkin and asks if Vaneeta has any last words. Turns out she does: "Where the hell are you? You so busy finding fucking couscous on the internet, you ain't takin' care of your game! Conrad is never here no more, and business is off, and all you can think about is some fancy-preachin', pork-fearin' fat-ass." This sinks in a moment, and then Vaneeta adds that if Heylia plans to "drop out" and become a "'lee-lee'-shriekin' Muslim ladies," Vaneeta would like to know, so that she can get a babysitter, call Keeyon, and get business back on track. She stomps out, leaving Heylia to stand there in her wrongness and be wrong.