Episode Report Card Erin: B- | 1 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Talk about wearing your heart on your sleeve...
By Erin | Season 1 | Episode 3 | Aired on 2006.10.09
Oh, ew. Claire's making out with Jock the Rapist on the bleachers. He leans her back and they both seem to be enjoying it thoroughly until Jock starts sticking his hands up her spanky pants. ("Where the HELL are my spanky pants?") Claire stops him and tells him they should take a little break. He asks if she wants to go back to the party in a kind of annoyed tone, and she just says she's going through something and she doesn't know quite how to handle it. Jock totally understands. If by "totally understands," you mean "starts to stick his tongue in her ear." She tells him to stop, and he grabs her by the shoulders and turns her around, saying, "You know what? You just need to relax." Yes, because being grabbed is so RELAXING.
Jock the Rapist decides that this can go one of two ways: he can either lull her into a false sense of security by saying that she's pretty and he'll take care of her, or he can just start shoving his tongue into every available facial orifice she has and hope she's not strong enough to fight him off. He chooses the latter. He pushes her back on the bleachers, and she does her best to get him to stop, but he's got about a hundred pounds on her and a hard-on for young flesh. They fall to the ground and Claire starts screaming as he rips open her sweater and tells her to be quiet. He then -- oh, this poor actor -- puts his forearm up against her throat and says, "Don't be a bitch! Let it happen!" Guh. I sincerely feel sorry for any actor who has to perform a rape on someone, or be the rape victim. That shit is NOT fun, especially if you happen to be a nice person. I don't know if this actor is nice or not, but still. Gross.
At any rate, he doesn't get a chance to rape Claire, because she manages to get her knee up and give him a hefty kick. He falls off her and she tries to run away, only to have him get up and grab her and slam her against the chain link fence. She falls and is immediately silent. That can't be good. Jock the Rapist goes to her and calls her name, but she doesn't answer. He tries to pull her up, but there's this sticky sound and a branch breaks and it would appear that Claire has a big twig stuck into her head. Don't worry. She's indestructible. That'll probably just give her a headache.
Jesus. We're back with Niki and Micah. I'm sorry. I'm so bored with her storyline right now. Like, figure out what the hell your mirror-ganger is already! Actually, I want EVERYONE to figure out their damn powers already. Get on board with Hiro, okay? I'm tired of Nathan fighting his, I want Peter to stop whinging about how his doesn't always work, I want Isaac to stop taking smack to see the future, I want Claire to own up to hers and start kicking some ass, and I want Matt to start doing shows in Vegas because that shit makes money, yo. I realize it's only three episodes in, but if some serious shit doesn't start happening soon, I'm going to ride a pogo stick to Tim Kring's office in L.A. and drive it right up his butt.