Episode Report Card Gustave: C+ | 10 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Nina lives
By Gustave | Season 3 | Episode 13 | Aired on 02.09.2004
Back at the airfield, where various Delta team extras stand around like chorus boys on a soundstage taking a break, the Kiefmobile pulls up. Kiefer gets out, and much to Special Agent Charlie Brown's amazement, so does Nina. "What happened back there?" asks Charlie Brown. "She wants to help us find Amador," says Kiefer, escorting Nina at gunpoint to the plane. With velvety urgency in his voice, Kiefer gets everyone on the plane to L.A.
Meanwhile, on another plane to L.A., Faggy Amador takes out another cell phone and calls an associate of his named Marcus Alvers. Alvers is played by Lothaire Bluteau, this actor I've had a crush on since I saw him play Girodias in I Shot Andy Warhol. "Where are you?" asks Lothaire, emerging from behind a beaded Greg Brady curtain and standing in front of a backdrop that resembles the interior of an Amsterdam hash bar. "I'll be there in an hour," assures Amador. "Have you got the V-I-R-U-S?" asks Lothaire. "Yes," says Amador. "Just be ready." The camera zooms in on the briefcase that Amador carries. The briefcase that contains the V-I-R-U-S. Oh, that Amador is one bad fellow, tapping on the briefcase gleefully and all! The time is 01:12:20 AM.
The time is 01:16:34 AM. Klockwise from the top left, Lady Mac drives to William Ocean's manse, Mrs. Ocean puts on makeup, and Palmer looks out a window. Okay, so now we're at the Ocean Manse, and after all we've learned about William Ocean III and how rich and powerful he was, you'd think he'd have a really awesome house with ocean views, Stickley furniture, Impressionist paintings, exquisite gardens, cages containing exotic wild animals, and teams of French maids standing around dressed like those girls from the Robert Palmer videos. I mean, this is the guy who single handedly killed a healthcare bill. I want an African-American Dynasty experience, dammit! But no. Instead we see Mrs. Ocean putting on makeup in a dressing room that seems to contain a great deal of "home crafts." And not even upscale Martha Stewart home crafts, either. We're talking mauve-colored "Austrian Valenced" curtains that you learn to make from one of those Singer Sewing for the Home booklets. And the curtains are closed, so you can't see stables or tennis courts outside the windows or anything. Otherwise, there are these lamps you'd totally find in a Holiday Inn, and all the seating is covered in this faux-brocade that you see all over everything at Pier One Imports. It's totally a Hallmark Store notion of luxury.
Mrs. Ocean's cell phone rings. It's Lady Mac from her car, heading over. "I'm almost there," says Lady Mac. "Where's Alan now?" Mrs. Ocean replies that he's gone to bed, having just got off the phone with someone. "How do I get to you without him knowing?" asks Lady Mac. Mrs. Ocean gives her the gate code. The Oceans don't have around-the-clock armed guards? Lame! Lady Mac reminds her to disable any security cameras. "I don't know if I can," says Mrs. Ocean. "Find a way!" says Lady Mac. Mrs. Ocean exits her dressing room and enters the master bedroom, where William Ocean III is lying on a queen-sized four-poster bed covered with queeny decorative pillows that you could totally buy in the "housewares" section of TJ Maxx. Let me guess? Was there another drunk driving accident, and was some aspiring decorator's silence bought by letting her loose on the Ocean manse? Anyway, he's watching TV and preparing to go to sleep. Mrs. Ocean kisses him goodnight and tells him she's going downstairs to get some tea to "settle her stomach," because I guess it's full of Brother Palmer's saliva. "I know you felt demeaned earlier," says William Ocean III. "But that's behind us now." "I know," says Mrs. Ocean, exiting and turning out the lights. William Ocean falls into a deep sleep.