Episode Report Card Montykins: B+ | 714 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT Even More Kings
By Montykins | Season 2 | Episode 1 | Aired on 2012.04.01
Out in the desert lands, there are adorable baby dragons! I like Daenerys' story better in the show than in the book, largely because I get to look at cute dragons. She says she doesn't know how to raise dragons or what to feed them. So she tucks them away in a cage. What? Bring back the baby dragons! And then! A horse collapses. What, is this Luck now? Hah? Get it? Because of those horses that died? That's a great joke right there. Anyway, this horse was Khal Drogo's first gift to Daenerys. If you don't count his penis. Her advisor says everything dies. True. At least on this show. Anyway, they're in the middle of a desert called the Red Waste, and there are bad things in all directions. Daenerys is determined not to let anyone take her dragons. I think the accountants would appreciate it if she'd give them up, because they're eating into the CGI budget. And if they go, that comet probably goes with them, which is also using up computer time.
After hanging out with the dead horse for a while, Daenerys shouts something that sounds kind of like "Sa-koi-koi!" She sends three strapping young lads in three different directions to look for cities, caravans or people. They are to determine the boundaries of the Red Waste. I'm no expert, but maybe they should have learned how big it was before they wandered into the middle of it. The three youths are taking the three last horses. She calls one of them "blood of my blood." Not sure what that means, since I'm pretty sure her baby died. He might be Drogo's little brother or something. They ride off. She looks at the comet, which I'm already sick of. It's just sitting up there in the sky. Let it crash into the ground and then we'll have something. Maybe it could crush Joffrey.
Out north, where it's snowy, the Wall boys are working with a sledge. They arrive at a miserable encampment. There are girls, all of whom are the daughters/wives of the guy who runs the place. His name is Craster, and I'm just going to assume that it's mentioned somewhere in here. I take pretty good notes during these episodes, but let's face it -- There are a lot of names in here. So, yes, I look up the character names sometimes. And that's what I've done here. The deal here is that Craster marries his own daughters, fathers new daughters and then marries them. Jon Snow wonders what happens to his sons. My guess is he has a giant pit out back that he throws them into. I don't know why it has to be a giant pit, but that's what I picture.