Episode Report Card M. Giant: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT In-fil-tra-tion. Ready? Begin!
By M. Giant | Season 4 | Episode 14 | Aired on 03.20.2005
8:30:38. Lispy Skip stares at his computer screen, DaD bides his time outside the CTU clinic with his useless daughter, and Poor Man's Poor Man's Eric Stoltz drives along nervously. Soul Patch tells Bitchelle that they've got long-range microphones directed at TerrorProf's house, so they should be able to hear all right. They share a flirty look before Bitchelle thanks him and they part ways. I wouldn't want to be the CTU employee sitting at the desk they're next to when they inevitably decide to have hot make-up sex in the middle of the floor.
Lispy Skip is having some trouble with his technobabble, until Potato Face appears next to him with some fresh technobabble. It's not surprising that she knows how to fix it, considering she's apparently developed the ability to teleport. She's also changed her clothes and her hair in the past seven minutes, presumably in the car. She probably should have taken the time to pick out some decent lipstick other than the lavender mess she's wearing now, though. Lispy Skip doesn't seem to happy to see her, so Potato Face smoothes things over by saying Bitchelle called her in because Lispy Skip couldn't handle himself. Way to defuse the tension there. Bitchelle swoops in to try to calm an increasingly offended Skip, but eventually has to pull rank in order to get him to accept the situation. Potato Face makes a smug older-sister face at him. How does she get through the day without somebody stomping on her foot or something? "Kiefer's approaching the staging area now," Bitchelle tells her happy staff, and steps away to put on her headset.
Her call goes through to a pair of plainclothes CTU agents sitting in a parked SUV. The agent who takes the call, a Poor Man's D. B. Sweeney, acknowledges the update and says he'll keep the line open. His partner is sadly not a poor man's Moira Kelly, but more like a Poor Man's Dan Hedaya. And wouldn't The Cutting Edge have been a different movie with that casting change? They point a parabolic microphone out the car window.
At about that time, 8:32:06 to be precise, the Kiefmobile pulls into position up the street with TerrorMom in the shotgun seat. She asks him, "We're going in alone?" Kiefer assures her that agents are listening in and demonstrates by saying, "Acknowledge that you hear me." Poor Man's D. B. Sweeney's partner flashes his headlights at them. "Copy that," Kiefer says, producing his knife. TerrorMom asks what he's doing. Kiefer explains that he has to make it look like he was hurt during the ambush, and sinks the knife blade into his own abdomen. Wow, he really is feeling guilty, isn't he? I don't remember any penitent acts of self-mutilation after he executed Chappelle last season. The lady next to him with a fresh bullet wound in her arm watches in horror. We could have used this guy, she thinks. Kiefer cocks his gun and holds it out to her, saying, "This has to look as convincing as possible." She hesitates. "You must know that I want to kill you," she says. Kiefer does know that, but he also knows that she won't because of TerrorTeen. And you must know that that little exchange was entirely for your benefit. She takes the gun and they get out and walk across the street to Casa TerrorProf. Poor Man's D.B. Sweeney reports to CTU, and Bitchelle acknowledges. "What if TerrorProf doesn't believe us?" TerrorMom asks Kiefer. "Then we're both dead," Kiefer says.