The lengthy tracking shot finally comes to a close, and after a brief pause so that all of our racers can piss into a cup for steroid testing, we cut to the Galactica's hangar bay, where Adama has arrived to accept the adulation of the entire deck crew. I guess he just got tired of everyone sucking up to him individually in all those face-to-face encounters. Presumably because it's somewhat difficult to kiss ass when you're face-to-face, but that's a different story. The senior mechanic, known to friends and subordinates alike as Master Chief Brownnose, gets all of his people lined up at attention, and then presents Adama with his going-away present: The original Mark Two Viper that Adama flew back in his pilot days. This would probably be a good time for me to inform the readers who didn't actually watch that the Galactica is scheduled for decommissioning later today (she's being turned into a museum), and one can only assume that Adama himself is being shipped off to wherever old pockmarked warhorses go when they've outlived their usefulness. In this case, of course, that turns out to be a pilot on the Sci-Fi network. Master Chief Brownnose brags that the Viper has been lovingly restored, and is even flight-capable. Adama is impressed with this gesture in much the same way that a cat owner would be if their pet brought them back a particular juicy dead mouse, and then the Master Chief decides to top things off by presenting his commanding officer with the big gift-wrapped package we saw earlier. The contents turn out to be a photo of Adama standing in front of his Viper with his two little boys. Solely because it will be important later, I'll just note now that the picture frame is octagonal. I'll also note that Young Edward James Olmos was a little creepy-looking.
Down in the ready room, Colonel McCain freshens his cup of coffee with about a gallon and a half of vodka. Then he sits down to play cards with the other actors who have speaking parts and helpfully exposits for the third time that the blonde chick at the other end of the octagonal table is, in fact, Starbuck. You know, in case the pointy nipples and relentless pre-air hype didn't make it clear that Dirk Benedict has recently spent some time at a secluded medical facility in Switzerland. The other players at the table include Boomer (now an Asian woman), her co-pilot Sergeant Sacrificial Stan, and Captain Wants To Be Vin Diesel But Looks More Like Mortimer Kerosene. Mortimer is never to be seen again, so we can dispense with caring about him altogether. Boomer, on the other hand, has turned out to be something of a hottie. Woo hoo! I'm just glad they didn't make her keep Herb Jefferson's original seventies hairstyle, which is apparently what they've decided to do with Starbuck. In any event, the lesson to be learned from this scene is that Starbuck and Colonel McCain don't like each other. He mocks her for getting thrown in the brig, and she teases him about his absent spouse. Then she wins the pot (and yes, both the coins and the cards are octagonal), and jumps up to gloat and do an incredibly annoying little dance. Sigh. I'm with you all the way on girling up Boomer, guys, but I'd almost rather have the robot dog back than this incarnation of Starbuck. Colonel McCain lunges out of his seat to slug her (and really, who can blame him?), but it's Starbuck who scores the only real punch in this fight. The rest of the crew pulls them apart (although Starbuck does execute that cheesy "I'm fine" followed by a re-rush move that only ever happens on TV), and Colonel McCain gleefully orders her to report to the brig. Starbuck, who's been chewing on both a lollipop and a cigar throughout this entire scene (because she's manly! But still girly! And has an oral fixation!), reluctantly complies.