Episode Report Card Cate: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Blind
By Cate | Season 5 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.29.2000
The CamRents are spending their free Saturday discussing how great it is to have a free Saturday. Well, I don't think it's so great if that's how you spend it. Ah, wait, RevCam's day just took a turn for the better. He sees Johnny with a woman who is not Frankie. Johnny and Frankie are supposed to be in outpatient rehab today. Awright, it's stalker time! Annie looks annoyed, but she has to know by now how much Eric gets off on sticking his nose where it doesn't belong. Johnny and his chick start making out. We cut to commercial right before RevCam starts drooling.
Good heavens, it's Ruthie and her stupid little friend Sarah. They're wearing boas and heels and having one of those fakey Kids Say The Darnedest Things kinds of conversations. I won't transcribe it, though. Let's face it -- if you're the type of person who really, truly enjoys the kind of stilted horror that results when adults try to script cutesy dialogue for kids, you've probably given up on the recap by now anyway and are madly drafting an e-mail to us about why you think God should hate everyone at MBTV. By the way, this is totally not the actress who played Sarah originally. She doesn't even look remotely like her. Anyway, Ruthie picks this moment to inform Sarah that Rachel will be joining them and that she wants them all to be friends. After some more non-cute-icisms about why Sarah likes adults better than kids, Rachel comes in. She's loaded down in makeup and jewelry and wearing some fugly sweater with feathers around the collar and cuffs. Egads! Why would the wardrobe people punish us like that? Is this someone's simplistic idea of how to make Rachel look like a princess? She's even brattier than Mary, and that's saying something. She gets totally possessive of Ruthie (though why anyone would want to do that is beyond me) and picks a fight with Sarah, which Lucy tries to break up by asking if anyone wants a cookie. No, thanks, but if you have a beer, I could really use one about now. No? Anything huffable? Oh no. Rachel's doing some little dance-like movements that are supposed to convey sassy attitude, but instead...well, let's just say that I think even Overactors' Anonymous would be embarrassed to have her as a member. She makes Ruthie and Sarah look like master thespians. After Sarah and Rachel stalk off in separate directions, Lucy tries to put a good spin on the situation. Ruthie makes the obligatory reference to the episode title, asking her if she's blind. No, but after witnessing Rachel's "acting," I sure am. Are you absolutely sure there's nothing for me to huff? You know, if you need me, I'll be out in the garage, feeling around for some spray paint and sculpting the head of Lionel Richie out of clay.
I'm glad I was able to schedule emergency eye surgery, or I would have missed Simon's next attempt at looking manly. He's slicked back his hair and put on a black long-sleeved T-shirt and layered it with a grey shirt from which he's cut off the sleeves, except he hasn't even done that right. The sleeves are cut off about an inch below the shoulders. Maybe the episode title means that it's Simon who's blind. Oh, I'm so confused.