Episode Report Card Cate: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Blind
By Cate | Season 5 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.29.2000
Oh yuck, it's Simon and his pathetic subplot. His eighty-year-old friend has come up with a cool thing for Simon to do to prove his manliness. I hope it involves diving headfirst off cliffs.
Mary's asking the babies for advice on whether or not she should drink the beer she found in the diaper bag. She tries to argue that if she doesn't drink it, she'll be wasting it, which "seems wrong." Gwen's already covered just about everything there is to say regarding Mary's ongoing non-story about substance abuse. All I can add is this. I was pretty damn geeky as a teenager, but even I was never pathetic enough to a) consider drinking while baby-sitting, and b) devote that much mental energy to figuring out whether or not to drink one beer. It's one beer, folks. Mary is eighteen years old. In Quebec she would be of legal drinking age. If the producers want to make a point here, the least they could do would be to choose a scenario that could potentially frighten someone other than Ned Flanders. They're so blasé about Eric's and Matt's stalking and then so freakin' uptight about one beer. Feh!
Back at the Stalker Corral, RevCam's finally had his fill of observing Johnny and his date. He makes his move and asks Johnny about the drug and alcohol rehab. I swear Johnny's even stupider than Mary, because he acts all tough and tells RevCam he doesn't need "that counseling crap." Come on, what person in his right mind would talk this way to the minister who bailed him out of jail the week before? I know -- maybe he drank a beer and that's why he's so psychotic. One beer does that to you, you know. Frankie chooses that moment to walk into the pool hall. Johnny tells his date to "beat it," which she does without making a scene. It's too late, though. Frankie has seen them together. She starts yelling at Johnny, and he yells back. They throw around accusations of ruined lives. It sure is great that they talk about their daughter that way, isn't it? Frankie calls Johnny "loser" a few times, which makes him particularly angry. Eventually he hauls off and slugs...RevCam, who, once again, has stuck his nose where it doesn't belong. At least Eric's cool enough not to call the cops.
I'll tell you what I really don't need to see in October: Christmas commercials.
Lucy and Ruthie have a heart-to-heart about the cursed sleepover while Lucy polishes the furniture in the living room. I assume she's already ironed the tea towels. Ruthie is upset that her stupid slumber party is going so badly. I don't know why she doesn't just send her friends home. Oh right, then we wouldn't have this stupid contrived plot to fill up time on the show.