Episode Report Card Keckler: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Tempus fudges-it
By Keckler | Season 1 | Episode 11 | Aired on 11.27.2001
Bridge. Hoshi walks in, and Mayflower pipes up, "Did you get to meet them?" Hoshi said she met two, "Briefly." Reed asks what they were like. "Uh, quiet. They're taking a tour of the ship," Hoshi tells them. "Looks like the Captain's going all out," Mayflower grins. Please -- Quantum offers tours of Enterprise whenever a star goes supernova. "I hope he's not planning to show them the Armory," Reed crabs. "Don't worry, Lieutenant, they didn't look like the types who'd go around stealing military secrets," Hoshi says. That's exactly the kind of attitude that started the Cold War. Seriously. I just saw Spy Game, and joking about military secrets just isn't a laughing matter. "We're not familiar with these species. Our tactical systems should be off-limits," Reed says firmly. Reed is the only human to show any common sense on this ship. Come to think of it, he's the only one to show sense of any kind, common or not. The rest are all a bunch of too-trusting nitwits. Reed notes that some sensor or another is "down again." Hoshi offers to call Engineering, but Reed says he'll do it himself. "It'll only take a minute. You have the bridge, Ensign," Reed says to Mayflower, and leaves. See, that's being responsible -- Quantum doesn't do that.
Hoshi gets an impish look on her face and leans over to Acting Captain Mayflower. "Aren't you going to take the chair?" she asks. Mayflower doesn't get what she means. "You're in command," Hoshi explains, looking over at the Porsche seat. Mayflower looks over too and laughs, "I'm fine right here." Hoshi gets even more mischievous and asks, "Haven't you ever wondered what it's like?" Mayflower says he thinks he can wait until he's promoted. I wouldn't hold your breath, Harry Kim. "Okay..." Hoshi says, teasingly. Mayflower looks at her again and grins. He gets up, and scoots over to the chair, and sits reverently. "Nice fit," Hoshi comments. "The Bridge looks a lot different from here," Mayflower says, and flips open a control screen on one of the armrests. Of course, he's not interested in the seat warmer or massage elements of the chair. "Do you think anyone would mind if I fired a torpedo?" he asks just as Reed walks in. Reed stops in his tracks at the sight of Acting Captain Mayflower, who quickly stands up and closes the control screen. "Permission to take my station?" Reed asks. Mayflower apologizes and scurries back to his usual place at the helm under Reed's amused gaze.
Whatever, Victoria's Secret. You know they spray all their areas with glue, don't you? Oh, sorry -- did I destroy your fantasy life?